Recognizing unsung heroes - The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

The Empathy Angels Project has started out as something small, something to give recognition to individuals who are making a positive difference in their community, in society and to our world at large.  

However, over the last year it has proven itself as one of those initiatives that South Africa and the world need; not only because of the recognition that selected individuals receive, but also because of how this recognition contributes to their projects and to the beneficiaries of their project.

This is just one of the ways in which The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849 (with the wonderful publicity by SABC Radio: RSG) contributes to keeping Mr. Nelson Mandela's (Madiba) legacy alive.

See below for more information and for images of some of the Empathy Angels previously featured on SABC Radio: RSG.  "RSG, Dis Die Een."

Thank you for liking the Facebook page of the Empathy Foundation

https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa?fref=ts

A big thank you, from everyone at The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

Dear Friends,

It is with a tremendous amount of gratitude that I look back to reflect on this year, the good times, the challenges, the successes, but more importantly: YOU, because of your support, we are growing from strength to strength. 

Our Entrepreneurship objective

This is also the year in which The Empathy Angels Project was officially adopted and launched to contribute to our objective where we focus on entrepreneurship.  However, the Empathy Angels was born a number of years ago.  I have knocked on many doors to have it implemented, but they all remain shut.  People told me that it could never work.  

Well, today I want to say to you to never listen to anybody who tells you this when your core tells you that your dream is indeed POSSIBLE!

I didn’t take the pessimism to heart, but went back to the drawing board. 

I asked myself:  Well, how COULD this work? 

I got an idea to write my book about Empathy.  I thought that it might be very helpful to get a national publishing house to publish my book.  I started to plan my book and sent a proposal to a national publishing house.  I was blessed to get that YES in an instant, because as I teach in my program on Expert Positioning, it normally takes up to three months before a publisher comes back to you regarding your manuscript AND they normally want at least three chapters.

I completed my manuscript within two months and my book In Mekaar Se Skoene was officially published five months later.  I secured a weekly Empathy slot on SABC Radio: RSG and on 25 January 2014, I’ll be doing that for two years.

After being on air for a year, I was extremely grateful.  And like my habit is when I am grateful, I looked for an opportunity to share.  How could I share my wonderful platform with others? I wondered...  

A-ha!  The Empathy Angels Project on RSG came to mind.  Okay, but now I have to convince RSG to say yes to me about sharing my platform with others.  I contacted the producer.  She responded with a Yes.  She said that she liked the idea very much.  The Empathy Angels on RSG was born.

Over the last year, we have featured many wonderful people, doing great work to uplift people in various communities.  This is just one of my many passions that make me come alive. 

Thank you

I owe a big thank you the “Oggend Op RSG”-team, but also to RSG management for their wonderful contribution to assist me and The Empathy Foundation to contribute to keeping Madiba’s legacy alive.  A big thank-you to our friends and followers too, because without your participation in sending us your Empathy Angel suggestion we would not be able to do what we do.  

Please keep those suggestions coming.

Make a donation and help us continue our great work

The Empathy Foundation is an NPO and as you know, we depend on donations to keep things afloat.  Hence we are sending out a request to organisations to donate to this great cause.  We have a great track record, are able to supply you with relevant documents and we do what we say we do. 

See this link to our Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa?fref=ts

Should you be interested in donating to this great case, here are our banking details

ACCOUNT NAME:  The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849.

BANK:      Absa Bank

BRANCH:     Clearwater Mall

ACCOUNT NUMBER:  9284575199

BRANCH CODE:   632005

SARS PBO NUMBER:  930041748

Our Logo

The Empathy Angels project

Those who know me know that I am always focused on giving value and to add something extra.  This is the reason we have decided to first launch The Empathy Angels project and to provide the best publicity to all the Empathy Angels whom we feature.  We all know how much it costs to make use of the services of a PR Consultant.  They certainly do not come cheap.

Our Empathy Angels have given us great feedback about how much being featured as an Empathy Angel has meant to them and their projects, not to mention the enquiries they have received from businesses that wanted to know how they could support or contribute to their individual causes.  So, I think that you will agree with me that our Empathy Angels are getting quite a fantastic deal.  

Please note however, that we DO NOT guarantee that you will be contacted with offers of support.

Here at The Empathy Foundation, we have gone back to the drawing board to ensure that apart from continuing our great work, to also ensure that The Empathy Foundation becomes sustainable.  For this reason, we have decided to, as from next year, charge the Empathy Angels who are being featured a small administration fee of R250, 00.  This will cover the telephone calls to you as Empathy Angel, email correspondence, compiling your story and forwarding it to the RSG producer, via email.  See below for an outline, options and benefits to you.

As the Founder of the organisation, I am very excited and happy when I design your collage, when I choose which images to add. It is important to me to ensure that you, our Empathy Angels, are portrayed in the best possible light, in a way that makes you feel satisfied about your association with The Empathy Foundation and The Empathy Angels project.  

It takes time to create your beautiful collage and I believe that you’ll understand the importance of having to charge a small admin fee to create this.

Your contribution goes directly to the Empathy Foundation. Thank you for understanding.

Please note that your interview as Empathy Angel on SABC Radio: RSG remains free.  You are also not paying for the collage, only for my time

Here are the payment options and benefits:

AMOUNT	BENEFITS
R250, 00 (for my time)	A beautiful (and free) collage with images about your project; shared on the Facebook page of The Empathy Foundation.
R500, 00	A beautiful (and free) collage with images about your project; shared on the Facebook page of The Empathy Foundation, on my Facebook wall and on the wall of two other Facebook groups to which I belong, on Linked in and on Twitter.  PLUS... You qualify to ask me about one module in my program, entitled: EXPERT POSITIONING – how to grow your personal brand or business by getting great publicity. You could ask me anything about the following – one area only    Writing and publishing your book;     Have a reputable publication tell your inspirational life – or business story;     Be a regular guest on radio or television;     Register your passion as an NPO;     Becoming a columnist; Your ASK Andeline-session will take place in a pre-arranged 30 minute session via SKYPE.  T’s & C’s apply.

Like our Facebook page: The Empathy Foundation and stay informed about what’s happening on our side.  

The next chapter

We are currently planning to host the first Empathy Angels Awards Ceremony at the end of July 2014.  I am very happy to report that we have already secured a Media Partner.  This should tell you that this organisation really means business and is indeed serious about contributing to the greater good.  We live in a society where it is “every man for him /herself”.  Not in our world, because we realise how we could get so much further when we join hands. With this initiative, we want to give recognition to those people who take time out to be kind, caring and considerate; those individuals who are doing something to brighten someone else’s day, because we believe that it is cool to be kind.

We will share more information about our Media partner(s) and about what we are planning, early next year.

Do you want to be a Sponsor to The Empathy Angels Awards Ceremony?

If your organisation would like to come on board as Sponsor to this prestigious event and would like to receive more information about the project and about the benefits to you as sponsor, do contact me (Andeline).

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Email: info@andeline.co.za

All other enquiries are welcome too.

Thank you for your time and for travelling this journey with us.  The dreams continue and I promise to keep you posted.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Founder of The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

Empathy & Relationship Expert on SABC Radio: RSG

See below for some of our previous Empathy Angels, featured on SABC Radio: RSG.  Their great work continues. 

Hoe hanteer jy dit wanneer mense jou vir gratis advies vra?

Vriendelike Empatie Groete,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Inspirerende Spreker & Programopleier

Gereelde Empatie en Verhoudingskenner op RSG

Lewensafrigter en Rubriekskrywer vir Kuier tydskrif

Skrywer van Sukses, jou keuse.  Hierdie boek is in 2006 goedgekeur vir die skool kurrikulum vir Lewensoriëntering 

In mekaar Se Skoene, is in Desember 2011 deur Naledi gepubliseer.

Selfoon: 072 856 0218

"How do you handle people asking you for free advice?"

Thank you.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius
CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training
Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Wife & Mother
Regular Empathy & Relationships Expert on RSG
Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier magazine
PR Consultant
Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice; and 
In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi.
Mobile: 072 856 0218

Time to show a little Empathy to teachers

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius
Inspirational Speaker / Trainer / Author
Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG
Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine
info@andeline.co.za
Mobile: 072 856 0218

Are you prone to road rage or have you been a victim?

My Empathy contribution on RSG, tomorrow morning.
How could we all be more considerate and show more empathy to our fellow road users?


I have invited Dr.Marlet Tromp to participate in the conversation and to shed some light on the possible role that stress plays, in the occurrence of road rage.

Do tune in, between 09h00 & 10h00, between 100 & 104FM.

"RSG, Dis Die Een." 

Do you have an Empathy or Relationship challenge?  Let us know and we might focus on your challenge next time.  You can stay anonymous.  
Send a text message to 33343; or and email to brink@rsg.co.za  

Text messages are charged at R1,50 each.

When nurturing your family, don't forget about yourself

My Empathy contribution on RSG, this morning. Stay tuned between 09h00 & 10h00; between 100 & 104FM.  

"RSG, Dis die een."

There is nothing wrong with taking care of your family. However, you have to make sure that you do not loose yourself in the process. In the age of women empowerment, we still hear of too many cases where women are at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. This often happens when women stay at home to raise their children and take care of their family. When the kids are grown and when the husband's business is successful (something that would not have been possible without his wife's support), she often gets rewarded with a divorce.

Just last week, I read someone's wall post on a social media platform. She mentioned that she just witnessed her neighbour (an abused woman) leaving her home, with only the clothes on her back, before her husband arrived home.

And then someone else quoted something written (by a journalist) in a newspaper. In the article, she focused on women, who from generation to generation, allow themselves to be at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. One piece of the article (written in Afrikaans) roughly translated as: “...those women who still haven't woken up to realise that there is life beyond their husbands, children and sunlight liquid; these are the women who are often raising their young girls in the same way...”  This is heartbreaking. 

Recently, someone shared their story with me. After getting married, she was expected to stay home to raise four children. She accepted this to be her role, because this was what her mother had done as well. Over the years, she support her husband in building a successful business.  When she told me her story, she was sad, because she missed out on growing herself. She regretted the fact that she neglected her needs. Today, her children are grown, her husband's business is successful and he recently asked her for a divorce.

Yes, it might be noble to take care of one's children instead of having a career, but we shouldn't do it, while neglecting our needs and our personal growth. I'm certain that if mothers were to ask their children whether they would want that for their mothers, that the answer would be “no.”

My advice to women who decide to stay home to raise their children and take care of their families, do so, but make sure that you continue to learn and grow. There are many short courses that will allow you to spend appropriate time with your family, while at the same time, allow for your personal growth.

Nothing is cast in stone

Life is unpredictable. Even though you may start out your marriage as a committed couple, there is no guarantee that you will live happily ever after, because of your sacrifices. I recall a story that was shared on the Oprah Winfrey Show a number of years ago. It was about a woman who gave up her own needs to raise her family. In her interview with Oprah, she mentioned that she did that, because that was what her mother had done and she believed that that was how it was supposed to be. She supported her husband in building a successful business.

Her husband left her for his assistant, whom he later married. It was hard for her to accept being replaced when she had sacrificed so much.  One day, she went to her husband and his new wife's home and shot them both. What a tragedy?

She is still serving time. If only she had valued herself enough and continued growing herself, while supporting her husband and nurturing their children. 

See this link for a snippet of the story. http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/family/broderick/1.html

You can also see this link – Oprah's most memorable guests. http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Memorable-Guests/4

Where do you stand?

We need to do more with regards to the empowerment of women. However, we should take care to ensure that we do not empower women, while dis-empowering men. 

We should focus on finding that healthy balance.

And to the good men out there, I salute you.

Do you have an empathy / relationship challenge?

Let us know.  We may focus on your challenge next time.  Send a text message to 33343. Costs: R1,50 per text message;  OR you could send an email to brink@rsg.co.za

You can stay anonymous.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

BA (Health Science & Social Services) Unisa

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Wife & Mother

Regular Empathy & Relationships Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

PR Consultant

Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice which was approved for the school curriculum in

2006; and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi in December 2011.

Recognised by African Innovations Publishing as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women.

Their glossy-page coffee table book is available at selected branches of Exclusive books.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

The Empathy Lesson In The Oscar / Reeva-tragedy

The Oscar / Reeva tragedy has shocked us all, black and white. And now, weeks later, perhaps it is time do reflect, time to find possible lessons, locked up in this tragedy.

When I first heard the news, I was shocked, because: “how could this happen and what went wrong?” And what could we learn from this tragedy? 

Various comments

People have different opinions about this tragedy. Some are crucifying Oscar, while other's believe that it was an accident. Where do you stand and is your position motivated by race? Some people say that they do not understand how this tragedy has suddenly become about different races, especially since Oscar and Reeva belong to the same racial group.

Well, I know how this became a racial matter. It is because many things (issues) in our country, is about race, even when not necessarily so, because we often find a way to turn it into a racial matter.

I am proud of South Africans when I hear or read comments like: “We should not judge...” or “I have no right to judge.”

The only problem with such comments, is that in most cases, the absence of our judgment, is reserved to those times when the person, who appears to be on the other side of the law, belongs to our own racial group. And we gladly judge when this person does not belong to our racial group.

I see some black people do this, I see some white people do this, I see some Coloured people do this, etc.

Life is not fair...

People who have money, normally receive better services than those who have less money. This is one of those times when it seems as if race does not necessarily matter. We often hear of high profile individuals or those with “the right” connections, who went to jail and received “preferential treatment.”

We see people object against this “preferential treatment”. And once again, those who object, object when the one receiving such “preferential treatment”, belongs to a different racial group.

Why do we seem to turn a blind eye when the person receiving “preferential treatment”, belongs to our own racial group?

I'm certainly not writing here to judge. My objective, is to make us look in the mirror, to make us realise that we still have a lot to learn, when it comes to empathy, to getting into the shoes of others – to try and see things from their perspective.

When we object, we should do so irrespective of who the person is on the other side. If we could get this right, then there would be plenty of hope for South Africa, for improving and taking race relationships to the wonderful level where it could be.

When we are against something, let's be against it all of the time.

When we object against something, let's do so even when we have to object against our own, BECAUSE, people are always watching.

Do you have an Empathy & Relationship challenge and don't know how to deal with it?

Send us a text message (33343) or email (brink@rsg.co.za) and we might focus on your challenge next time.

You can stay anonymous.  Remember, text messages are charged at R1,50 each.

Thank you.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

info@andeline.co.za

Show empathy to yourself by improving your self-esteem and assertiveness

A healthy self-esteem and level of assertiveness, make it possible for us to show empathy to others. However, empathy to others, has to start with empathy to ourselves. It is sad to see people who say that they are confident and assertive, launching personal attacks on others. There is never any need for that – even when it is out of retaliation.  Remember that arrogance is a result of an over-inflated ego and has nothing to do with a healthy self-esteem and assertiveness.

It is still early in the new year and there fore you can still plan your year, if you haven't already.

Because our self-esteem and level of assertiveness influence our emotions, how we respond to certain situations, our daily activities and how we treat ourselves and others.

Example: We all become irritated or angry, but there is a clear difference between how the individual with a healthy self-esteem and level of assertiveness would respond, compared to the individual with low self-esteem who lacks assertiveness.

The individual who lacks self-esteem and assertiveness, may respond by insulting the other individual or by putting themselves down: “I am not good enough, and this is why this happened to me...”, while the one with a healthy self-esteem and assertiveness, may respond by evaluating the situation: “This, has happened, now what should I learn from it and how can I grow as a result?”

Manage your emotions and work on your relationships to eliminate the need to “escape the self”, by abusing drugs or alcohol, harming yourself or engaging in other forms of “escape.”

How could you do this? By focusing of these elements.

Be aware of your emotions.

When feeling a negative emotion, focus on the reason behind it, instead of allowing yourself to become too consumed. Write about your feelings and think of things that you could do to feel better.

Recognise when things are too much and if you need to seek professional help.

Accept yourself

This can be very challenging when you tell yourself that you are unworthy, stupid, unattractive and all the other negative things that you feed your mind.

Think about it this way: we all have good and positive qualities and ones that are not so positive. Remember: whatever we focus on, tend to multiply. Be conscious of those time when you feel those negative emotions and make an effort to change them immediately, by focusing on what is good, by focusing on your good qualities.

Become more assertiveness

If you are one of those individuals who often feel plagued by “should-have's” after a particular situation, then you should take the time to become more assertive. A healthy level of assertiveness, will not only assist you to speak up when it is necessary, but it will also assist you to identify those things or battles that are not worth losing sleep over.

If you struggle with a particular issue around assertiveness, get a friend or family member to assist you with role-play on how to respond in future. The more you practice, the easier it will become.

Remember, healthy assertiveness has nothing to do with aggressiveness.

Have a purpose

If you have a purpose, it could serve as a wonderful compass for your life. With a purpose, you could compare whether your actions, the way you respond to others, the way you treat others are in line with your purpose.

Some of the reasons for low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness

• Stereotypes,
• The after effects of inappropriate discipline during childhood,
• Negative influences in society,
• Physical appearance,
• Abuse,
• Financial difficulties,
• Rejection
• The way we treat people who seems different.

Some of the things you could do to improve your self-esteem. If you need guidance, find help.

• It is important to realise that there is a problem and that you could do something to improve it.
• And then you have to have the desire to improve it.
• Remember that you are unique and special. If this is hard to believe when you start out, it will get better, the more you practice.
• Remember all your accomplishments in the past, how you felt and know that you could feel like that again.
• Becoming involved with a charity organisation to do voluntary work, could do wonders for your self-esteem. When you make a positive contribution to someone's life, it is difficult to believe that you are worthless.
• Become fit, eat healthily and take care of your body.
• Set goals and reward yourself when you follow through.
• Remember that practice makes perfect.

Are you dealing with an Empathy or Relationship challenge and don't know how to resolve it?  If "yes", you could send an email to brinkm@sabc.co.za or send a text message to 33343. Text messages are charged at R1, 50 each. We might focus of your challenge next time. You CAN stay anonymous.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

PR Consultant

Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier magazine

Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi.

Recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women - Their glossy-page coffee table book is available now.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

Empathy in the work place - people with disabilities. Tomorrow on Afrikaans radio station: RSG.

(Please scroll down for English)

My funksie verlede week: The Wellness & Networking Event For Women het my net weer laat besef hoe mense met gestremdhede steeds uit talle hoofstroom aktiwiteite uitgesluit word.

More (iewers tussen 09h00 & 10h00) besoek ons die werksplek en klim in die skoene van mense met gestremdhede.  

Ek het 'n kenner genooi om saam te gesels.  Sy is Jessica Batts, Lewensafrigter met jare se ondervinding in bestuursposisies in die korporatiewe mark.

Sien hierdie skakel vir meer inligting oor haar werksaamhede by JessicaCoaching:  

http://www.jessicabattscoaching.com/

In Mekaar se skoene.  R159, 00 + R25, 00 posgeld.

Hoe lyk die situasie oor die algemeen in die werksplek?  
Hoe lyk dit in jou maatskappy? 
Word mense met gestremdhede voldoende geakkommodeer en tuis te laat voel?

Is daar nog 'n paar veranderinge wat jy as werkgewer behoort te maak?

Luister gerus more oggend, iewers tussen 09h00 & 10h00.  

Jessica deel haar ondervinding, maar maak ook waardevolle aanbevelings in die verband.


Wat is jou empatie- of verhoudingskwessie?
Laat weet gerus.  Stuur 'n epos aan brinkm@sabc.co.za  of stuur 'n sms na 33343.  Sms koste: R1,50 per sms.  
Wie weet, jou kwessie word dalk volgende keer bespreek.
Jy kan anoniem bly.

"RSG, dis die een."


Empathy in the work place - people with disabilities

My event last week: The Wellness & Networking Event, made me realise that people with disabilities are still excluded from a number of mainstream activities.

I look at this tomorrow morning, during my regular empathy slot on RSG.  The hosts: Martelize & Johan.  The programme: Oggend op RSG. Stay tuned between 09h00 & 10h00.

Life Coach to participate

I've invited an expert to participate in the conversation.  
She is Jessica Batts, a Life Coach with years of experience in managerial positions in the corporate market.  


See this link for more information about her work at JessicaCoaching.
http://www.jessicabattscoaching.com/

Jessica will share her insights and make valuable suggestions.

How do you accommodate people with disabilities in your work place environment?

Tomorrow morning on RSG, between 09h00 & 10h00.  

"RSG, dis die een."


For any enquiries, contact Andeline.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Nominated in the ROCCI - Business of the year awards, 2012.

Andeline is Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier Magazine. 

She is PR Consultant and Empathy & Relationship Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG.

Http://www.andeline.co.za

http://za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

https://www.facebook.com/andelinewilliamspretorius

Talking about differences, likes and dislikes - the dance floor vs the boxing ring

This morning, during my regular Empathy slot on RSG, (every Tuesday, somewhere between 09h00 & 10h00), I'll be focusing on the best way in which to talk about differences between people and communicate likes and dislikes.

When it comes to addressing such differences, we have two options - doing it on the dance floor or in the boxing ring.

For the longest time, most people have been doing it in the boxing ring.  And I guess that this is the reason why we are still where we are, still unsure about other people and not knowing how to approach them and address certain issues.

We received an overwhelming response from RSG listeners last week, asking how to deal with certain situations in the work place.  These things are happening outside of the work place as well.  The following issues were some of those that were raised:


Listener one

I have a colleague at work, who, every time I comb my hair or put on lipstick, she wants to use my comb and lipstick too.  How do I deal with this?  How do I tell her that I do not like this, without being seen as a racist?

Before focusing on this particular question, my question to the employer of these two individuals would be: "Why haven't you created a work place culture, where one could communicate their likes, dislikes and differences with respect and empathy?"  This question from the particular listener that might seem like an insignificant matter, could have a negative impact on the productivity of both employees, if it doesn't get resolved on the dance floor- (with respectful and empathic communication.)

It is important to create an environment at work and in society, where people feel free and safe to voice their opinions.  We deal with people of different races, cultures and religions in the work place and elsewhere, therefore creating such a platform is extremely important.

My answer to this listener
I do understand your concerns about the possibility of being seen as a racist, if you were to communicate your disapproval to your colleague.  It is sad that your work place doesn't have a platform where you could do this with respect and empathy, on the dance floor instead of in the boxing ring.

One of the key things to remember, is that we should never generalise.  

In South Africa, we wonder about things that people from other cultures, races and religions do.  And it is sad that we are "afraid" to ask about those things that we do not understand.  We are fearful, because most of us do not know how to ask without generalising.  Generalising is an invitation to the boxing ring.

I remember that somebody once asked me: "Why do you Coloureds like to pull your front teeth?"  
This person asked this question to me, a Coloured who has front teeth.  Let's just say that I wasn't very friendly...

To listener one...
If you were to communicate with your colleague, it is important to not make the mistake and ask her: Why do you (people of your racial group and / or culture) do this?  This is generalisation and belongs in the boxing ring.  And I guess that this is how we have been doing it for the longest time.  And this is why we are still struggling with the same issues.  Believe me that there are people from different races and cultures who do not mind sharing their personal items and there are those who do.  

If you have hygiene concerns, which are legitimate, communicate these to your colleague.  Instead of only focusing on what you could possibly catch from her by sharing your comb and lipstick, point out that she could also catch something from you by using your personal items.  

I have recently watched the DR. OZ Show on television and was shocked to see the bacteria that were found on the lipstick- and mascara testers at make-up counters, that are there for all to use.  Anybody who has seen the show (and was in the habit of sharing such personal items) would never want to use someone else's lipstick again - even if it is the lipstick of their family member or of a very good friend.


Listener two

This listener had concerns about sharing cool drink (I guess drinking from the same straw).  I would say that the same (as above) applies here.  Communicate your preference with respect and empathy - on the dance floor, allowing her to take a step after you have taken a step.

You can say: "I do not understand why you would want to be exposed to catching possible germs from me by drinking on my straw.  I would not like to catch germs from someone else, and that is why I prefer to not share a straw."

Your colleague could then tell you why they do not mind sharing in this way, but would not be as offended, because you prefer something different.

If you have challenges around communicating about such issues in the work place, then I guess it is time for some changes; time to create a platform where different individuals are invited to the work place dance floor, where respectful and empathic communication, a willingness to share and learn from others are key ingredients to start with.

I have no doubt that this would have a positive result on overall productivity.  So, changing the work place culture into an empathic one, could ultimately improve work place relationships, minimise or eliminate all those awkward misunderstandings and have a positive effect on company profits. 


Listener three

This listener has a problem with getting hugged. She emphasises that she is a very friendly person and that she loves people, but just don't want to be hugged.

To hug or not to hug...

Hugging is a very personal thing for most people, in spite of the increase in people hugging each other, after swine flu threats that resulted in a decrease in shaking hands.  

Once again, whatever your preference, you should feel free to communicate that, but do so on the dance floor (respect and empathy) and not invite people to the boxing ring.

Let's get into the habit of getting into each others' shoes more often.  Let's give to others what we would like to receive.  Let's be sensitive, respectful and consider empathy, when we communicate about challenging issues.


If you want to change your work place culture into a respectful and empathic dance floor, you can contact me.  I come in, speak to your employees to find out what their challenges are and work out a plan, tailored to your work place environment.  More importantly though, I assist with implementing these changes.


What are your empathy and relationship challenges?
Let us know by sending a text message to the RSG studio, to 33343.  Text messages are charged at R1, 50 each.  Who knows, I might be focusing on your challenge next time.  You can send your text message on week days, between 09h00 & 12h00.  You can stay anonymous.


For any enquiries, contact me: Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Nominated in the ROCCI - Business of the year awards, 2012.

Andeline is Life Coach & Columnist for Kuier Magazine.

Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on Afrikaans Radio station: RSG.

PR Consultant & Author

"Andeline was recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women."

Their glossy page coffee table book, featuring Andeline and 29 others (inluding industry leaders), coming soon.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

http://za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

 

If you would like to order a copy of my book on Empathy and how this wonderful virtue, could transform various kinds of relationships, contact me.  It is a wonderful and priceless tool.  Cost: R159, 00 + postage.

Unfortunately it is currently only available in Afrikaans, but I hope that I'll have it translated to English in the near future.