The Oscar / Reeva
tragedy has shocked us all, black and white. And now, weeks later,
perhaps it is time do reflect, time to find possible lessons, locked
up in this tragedy.
When I first heard the
news, I was shocked, because: “how could this happen and what went
wrong?” And what could we learn from this tragedy?
Various
comments
People have different
opinions about this tragedy. Some are crucifying Oscar, while
other's believe that it was an accident. Where do you stand and is
your position motivated by race? Some people say that they do not
understand how this tragedy has suddenly become about different
races, especially since Oscar and Reeva belong to the same racial
group.
Well, I know how this
became a racial matter. It is because many things (issues) in our
country, is about race, even when not necessarily so, because we
often find a way to turn it into a racial matter.
I am proud of South
Africans when I hear or read comments like: “We should not
judge...” or “I have no right to judge.”
The only problem with
such comments, is that in most cases, the absence of our judgment, is
reserved to those times when the person, who appears to be on the
other side of the law, belongs to our own racial group. And we
gladly judge when this person does not belong to our racial group.
I see some black people
do this, I see some white people do this, I see some Coloured people
do this, etc.
Life
is not fair...
People who have money,
normally receive better services than those who have less money.
This is one of those times when it seems as if race does not
necessarily matter. We often hear of high profile individuals or
those with “the right” connections, who went to jail and received
“preferential treatment.”
We see people object
against this “preferential treatment”. And once again, those who
object, object when the one receiving such “preferential
treatment”, belongs to a different racial group.
Why do we seem to turn
a blind eye when the person receiving “preferential treatment”,
belongs to our own racial group?
I'm certainly not
writing here to judge. My objective, is to make us look in the
mirror, to make us realise that we still have a lot to learn, when it
comes to empathy, to getting into the shoes of others – to try and
see things from their perspective.
When we object, we
should do so irrespective of who the person is on the other side. If
we could get this right, then there would be plenty of hope for South
Africa, for improving and taking race relationships to the wonderful
level where it could be.
When we are against something, let's be against it all of the time.
When we object against something, let's do so even when we have to object against our own, BECAUSE, people are always watching.
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Do you have an Empathy & Relationship challenge and don't know how to deal with it?
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Thank you.
Yours in Empathy,
Andeline Williams-Pretorius
Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG
Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine
info@andeline.co.za
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