Sunday 20 May 2012

Empathy Basics


EMPATHY – the ability to step into the shoes of others, to see from their perspective and to re-consider the unkind or hurtful thing that we were about to say or do.

To show empathy toward others doesn't mean that we have to feel responsible for the hardships that they encounter.

Showing empathy is rather a matter of ensuring that we are not responsible for that hardship. Wishing for others what we want for ourselves.








How?
ASK and ACT

ASK

The question to ask is: "How would I feel if I was on the receiving end of the unkind or inconsiderate behaviour?"

And then hopefully....


ACT
Deciding against the unkind or inconsiderate action.


Every time we see or experience unkind or inconsiderate behaviour, we express our disapproval.







Incidents that are still fresh in our minds are the recent rape of mentally handicapped teenagers and the racist tweets by two models.

Can we confidently say that that was where it all started for those responsible for the horrific and discriminating actions?

I doubt it. Somewhere along the line they committed unkind actions that were not appropriately punished and it simply escalated into what was responsible for the blow-up.

It is all good and well to take away titles, to expel, and to send rapists to jail. However, we should also look at inspiring these young people to become empathy-conscious.



                                                   



Consider these basic examples displaying a lack of empathy

Example 1:

Imagine yourself walking in a shopping mall. You accidentally bump into someone because you didn't look in front of you. Do you justify giving the other person an apology or not, based on their physical appearance, racial background or your impression of their social class?


Example 2:

You are a parent and you are fixing a sandwich for your toddler and their friend. You prepare a sandwich with ham, cheese and all the trimmings for your child, while you decide to give your child's friend a sandwich with only margarine.

Has this ever happened to you?

Would you like it if the friend's mom did the same when fixing a sandwich for their child and your child?

If we do not consider our actions, our children may get the impression that differentiating between people in this way, is acceptable. This however is not where it stays. Such actions by parents may result in our children not only differentiating between people in this way, but they may justify unkind and inconsiderate behaviour towards their friend. This may lead to intolerance and discrimination.

Are you teaching your children to treat others in an unkind manner or to be intolerant without being aware of it?

Yes, these are very simple examples. However, these are examples that the majority of us can relate to. The sad part is that it often starts here, BUT it never stays here.

Can you think of more examples?





Let's make a habit of getting into each others' shoes. It is possible.


Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Speaker / Trainer / Counsellor / Author of book on empathy: In Mekaar se Skoene

Should you wish to contribute towards the translation of this book (Afrikaans to English) do contact me.  For more information, you can also read my blog post, titled: Help spread the important message of empathy.

Thank you.


Thursday 3 May 2012

GROW YOUR BUSINESS BY GETTING GREAT PUBLICITY

EXPERT POSITIONING - Grow Your Business By getting Great Publicity, now also available as one on one seminar.
Go to http://www.andeline.co.za  
See About Andeline for more information.
Thank you

 WHAT I FOCUS ON DURING THIS SEMINAR:
1. Writing your book.Self-publishing and / or getting published by a national publisher.

2. Writing a regular column for a reputable publication.
3. Writing a press release that grabs the attention of the editor.
4. Registering your passion as an NPO.
5. Have a reputable publication tell your story or feature your business.
6. Share your expertise on radio or television.
7. What you should focus on when approaching the media.
8. Words of wisdom from journalists, producers & journalists.


You also receive my comprehensive notes.
Progress & results
I managed to secure radio interviews (on SAFM) for two past delegates.  One is currently writing her book and another had an article approved for an online newsletter after I suggested some changes.


EXPERT VARIETY

From time to time, I will speak to various experts, enquiring about their journey.  I will include one or two stories in my training, to give my delegates 

more examples; examples that they'll be able to relate to.


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CONCLUSION

It doesn't matter who you are, what your story is, what line of business you are in. Expert positioning is possible.

I care about your journey. I care about inspiring you to position yourself as an expert in your respective field. For this reason, I part with valuable and implementable tips and secrets of the trade AND I include my comprehensive notes.

One of my previous delegates (Mercy Klassen) mentioned that even though she was interested in making use of my mentoring service afterwards, that she didn't have to, because my notes were comprehensive, very good and user-friendly.

Yes, I may have lost out on some money there, but her feedback is priceless.


........................................................

Feedback:Tamar Dakes from Beaming Kids
Thank you for a wonderful morning. It was a blessing sharing your space and time. Congrats on being so super good at what you do and sharing it so gracefully with the world.”



Adrienne Vickery from Milner Realty
"Dear Andeline, congrats and kudos to you - I have been to many seminars and networking events and your seminar was wonderful – so sincere and the guests were great- your talk was excellent. - thank you for a wonderful time. You inspire people to do better !!!


Tuesday 1 May 2012

Help spread the important message of Empathy


You can help spread the very important and much needed message of Empathy.

By making a contribution of towards the translation and production of my book on empathy:
In Mekaar se Skoene; making it available to more people in South Africa and perhaps, around the worldYour contribution also helps spread the message, through the work that we do through The Empathy Campaign. 


As an individual or organisation, your contribution of R300, 00 will assist us with achieving this goal.

What you get in return
You are not only contributing to a good cause, but you also receive an autographed copy of the English translation, with your name / company name at the back.

Here we have space for 100 - 150 names, under the heading: Sponsors.

If your organisation contributes 5 X R300, 00 or more, you get your logo printed in the book.
Approximate size of logo: 3 x3 cm.

Space limited to 15 company logo's only.   First come first serve.


More about the important message of Empathy

Over the last two weeks, South Africa and the world were shocked by the horror of rape of mentally handicapped teenagers. Sadly, these are the cases that we hear about.  There are countless more.
And then more recently, there was the racist tweets by two models: one white, one black.

I am not sure whether removing titles and dispelling are necessarily a solution.  When we look at the above issues, it is clear that we need to find better solutions, solutions that will INSPIRE perpetrators to do the right thing, to walk in the shoes of the person on the receiving end and hopefully decide against such hurtful actions.
When we look at all forms of hurt, destruction or crime, it is obvious that at the foundation of all of these acts, is a lack of empathy; a lack of empathy for our fellow human being or for animals.

We'll soon be celebrating another Madiba Day.  The SABC slogan says it best: “Make every day a Madiba Day.” Will this objective be all forgotten at the end of May 2012?

With your contribution, you and / or your organisation assist Andeline and The Empathy Campaign with ensuring that this is not merely a chiché, but that we turn it into reality.
We can all do something to create the country that we dream of.   We can do more when we work together.

Andeline now regularly contributes expert advice on Empathy strategies for various kinds of relationships, on Afrikaans Radio Station, RSG.  Stay tuned every Tuesday between 09h00 & 10h00.  The programme: "Oggend Op RSG"


About “In Mekaar Se Skoene”
Andeline wrote this book as part of her contribution to the greater good of humanity. Her passion for empathy comes from knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end of unkind treatment. Her healing process took a few years. Her personal growth and decision to not respond with reciprocal negative action, but to show empathy and make a difference, was inspired by the wonderful example of Mr. Nelson Mandela.


Her experiences of pain taught her about getting into the shoes of others.

“For me it became a matter of truly considering my actions, especially when it comes to other people, because I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of unkind treatment and / or rejection.”

In the book Andeline focuses on various kinds of relationships and how we can build, re-build or improve these relationships with Respect and Empathy.

The Foreword of the book was written by Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Rector at the Free State University.

The section: About The Author was written by Dr. Regina Malan.



Recommendations for In Mekaar Se Skoene

Dear Andeline,
I finally finished reading your book. I am impressed. It is indeed a must read for everyone. I would recommend it to all South Africans, irrespective of race, gender, culture or status. It would make me very happy if people in leadership positions could get to read your book. Your book can contribute to making South Africa a better place. Well done!
(All that is needed now is for it to be translated into English, to ensure that all people are able to read it.) Congratulations with a fantastic publication!”

Magdel Pretorius.
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"Hi Andeline, Ek sit met jou boek wat ek nou net by poskantoor gaan haal het. Weereens baie dankie! Ek het vinnig deurgelees, maar dis duidelik nie 'n boek wat ooit "klaar gelees" is nie; dis 'n boek waarheen mens MOET terugkeer elke keer as jy die spoor (wil) byster raak... Mooi wense!"

Heidrich Wyngaardt


About Andeline Williams-Pretorius BA (Health Sciences and Social Services) Unisa

"Andeline Williams-Pretorius is an Inspirational Speaker, Counselor, Trainer, wife and mother.
She is CEO of Andeline's Motivational Training, and creator of The Empathy Campaign, which is affiliated to Andeline's Motivational Training.

She was recently identified by entrepreneur, Mr. Lonwabo Jabavu from African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women, and is featured in their glossy-page coffee table book, titled: South Africa's Most Inspirational Women. This book will be available in book stores from the end of June 2012.

Andeline was recognised for overcoming severe low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness, in the book: Miracle Women, authored by Dave Metzler. She is the Founder of NPO In-Law Support, 070-849. http://www.inlawsupport.com

Andeline is Columnist / Life Coach for Kuier Magazine, Author of self-published: Success it's your choice and her latest book on empathy: In Mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi.

Andeline has a passion for contributing to the greater good of humanity. Her voluntary work can be traced back over the last thirteen years. It includes working with teenagers, speaking at schools about Self-esteem & Assertiveness.  She also did voluntary work with in-mates at George and Johannesburg Correctional Services.

She is regular expert (Tuesdays between 09h00 and 10h00) on empathy and relationship challenges (from family to society and the work place) on Afrikaans radio station: RSG."



I thank you in advance for your contribution. We will confirm your contribution, as well as details to be included at the back of the book.  I will also post regular updates via Twitter.

We will appreciate it if you would be so kind to share this information with your friends or connections.  In order to start this process, we need at least 100 people.  With enough help, we can get there in no time.


Banking details: Andeline's Motivational Training, ABSA Bank, Menlyn, Account Number: 4061007354, Branch Code: 632005.

Please fax or email proof of payment, together with the name or company name that you would like us to add in the book. Please include contact details and your postal address.

If your organisation would like to make use of the logo option, by sponsoring 5 X R300, 00 or more, remember to email us your logo for inclusion.

Should you have any enquiries, please contact Andeline.

Mobile: 072 856 0218
Fax: 086 546 9069
Email: info@andeline.co.za


Do connect with me on my social media pages:

http://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa
https://twitter.com/#!/andelinewp