How many of the goals
that you set out to achieve in 2012, have you accomplished? Were
these real goals or were they simply wishes or dreams?
If you have
accomplished your goals, you should
be proud of yourself. If you haven't, remember that it is not the end of the world. You are here,
you are alive and that means that you can try again.
You can use the
new year to start afresh and to plan better in order to accomplish
your goals.
Image borrowed from austincc.edu
Why
do most people fail to set goals?
Fear
of being outside their comfort zone.
Lack
of knowledge – not knowing how to set goals.
A
lack of self-esteem
A
lack of assertiveness
Fear
that they won't succeed and that they will then feel embarrassed.
Their
track record of not being able to follow through makes them feel
discouraged.
They
believe that they don't have time to sit down and think of what they
want to achieve.
They
are too busy and confuse this “busyness”with accomplishment.
The
process of goal-setting
Take
time out to reflect and
think
about the things that you wish to accomplish in 2013.
Do you want to make more money?
Do
you want to work on improving your relationship with your spouse,
partner or children? Do you want to make more time for friends?
Do
you want to start a hobby?
Do
you dream of studying further?
Do
you want to get involved in charity work?
Make
a list
It
is important that we make a list of the things that we want to
accomplish.
Being
able to “see” it means that we are one step closer to achieving
our goals. We have to write it down, otherwise it is not a goal,
but wishful thinking.
Create
an action-plan.
What
actions can I take to get closer to achieving my goal? This can
include identifying someone who has already accomplished the goal
that you wish to accomplish, read about them for some inspiration.
If
you want a big and beautiful house, why not make an appointment with
a real estate agent who could show you a few houses? If you do not
have the money to buy the house yet, make sure that you do not
create that impression. It would be dishonest.
You
action-plan may also include things that you need to let go of,
things that do not serve you or your goal.
Every
goal should have a deadline
It is important to
also focus on the date by when you want to accomplish a specific
goal. It is not good enough to say: “I want to make a million
rand soon...” You have to decide on an actual date and include
that on your list as well.
Be
specific
Instead
of saying: “I want a big house...”, say “I want a beautiful
big house in (name the area) with (number of bedrooms), with a
dream kitchen and built on land of... (the size) hectares...
If
you are looking for the ideal partner, make a list of the qualities
that this person should have.
Believe
that
you can actually achieve it.
You
have to have faith and believe that you can actually achieve your
goals. For this reason, it is important to set realistic goals,
goals that are measurable and achievable.
Create
a collage
When
creating a collage for yourself, you have something visual to look
at. Cut pictures (representing your goal) from magazines and paste
it on cardboard. For one person, this may include a yacht that they
want to buy, that beautiful house that they want to live in, the
relationship that they wish to work on and improve... What do you
wish to accomplish? Put this collage in a place where you are able
to see
it every day.
Review
your progress on
a regular basis and take regular action to get closer to achieving
your goal.
When
you need inspiration on your journey
When
doubt creeps in and you need a little encouragement, remember that
not everybody supports your ambitions. For this reason, it is
important to speak to the right people when you are feeling low,
those who will encourage you and not those who will think of every
reason why you should not be ambitious and dream of accomplishing
your goals.
You
can also read inspirational books to lift your spirits.
Happy New Year, happy
goal-setting.
And stop beating
yourself up over those things that you set out to achieve in 2012,
but did not, because today, you have the opportunity to start afresh.
On
a personal note
I
still remember when I got the idea to write my first book. I was a
counsellor at Life Line. This marked another chapter on my journey
of personal growth. I was excited, but at the same time, it was
scary, because most people whom I told about my book-dream, told me
that I won't be able to pull it off, because “I am not somebody”
and because “such a dream was simply too big for me.” Well,
today I know that we better set big goals; goals that will take us
out of our comfort zone. At the time though, my confidence was
crushed.
Doubt started to creep
into my mind, making me wonder whether the nay-sayers were right. At
the time I have done a lot of work with improving my self-esteem, but
I wasn't quite there yet. In spite of the doubts, I knew that I
could't let go of this dream. It was too important to me, the
objective behind it, which was to contribute to uplifting others.
Was
I
realistic
in thinking that I could write a book? After all, where I come from,
nobody has ever attempted such a project. I knew that I had a choice
to believe that I could or that I couldn't. I choose to believe that
I could, because I was already taking action. I committed to writing
every day and I did.
Getting
inspiration
When we set goals, it
is important that we associate with people who will encourage us to
continue and that we use negative criticism to our advantage.
My source of
inspiration, I found in a few inspirational books. The one titled: Attitude is everything, authored by Jeff Keller – a
Motivational Speaker / Author based in the USA.
This book assured me
that I had the right attitude.
One day I decided to
send him an email. I thanked him for writing his book, told him how
it inspired me and told him of my book-dream. A day later, he
responded to my email. I couldn't believe it and nearly fell off my
chair when I opened my inbox.
He said that writing a
book has nothing to do with background, but everything to do with the
desire to do so and with commitment to follow through, which I
clearly had. He wished me well on my journey. If there was still
some doubt in my mind when I wrote to him, then it completely
vanished when I read his encouraging message.
I felt unstoppable. I
followed through and managed to complete my manuscript.
Challenges
are part of the journey
I
guess that you can imagine how excited I felt when I managed to find
a publisher right away. It was a clear sign that hard work indeed
pays off. But then, I lost the publisher, due to somebody sabotaging
me. I was devastated. I've worked so hard and now this!
I
didn't allow myself to mourn this loss, because right after it
happened, I made the decision to publish my own book, because I
realised that there was now way for me to convince the publishers to
reverse their decision. Unfortunately racial lines were drawn and I
knew that there was nothing that I could do about that. All the
things I had to endure and managed to overcome over the years,
because of my interracial relationship and marriage, will certainly
make for an interesting and very inspirational autobiography. Sometimes you learn to laugh about it, other times you learn to live with it and sometimes it is simply unacceptable and "inhumane" and needs to be addressed.
Down,
but not out
I
decided to publish my own book. “Stubborn faith” comes to mind.
I said to myself: “This has happened, but I'll get up, because
giving someone else the power to decide over what is possible for me,
was just not an option.
In
2003, (due to stubborn faith and the miracle that I prayed for) I
published my own book: Success; it's your choice.
It was a wonderful accomplishment, more so, because of this setback.
In 2006, my book was approved for the school curriculum for Life
Orientation, in the majority of provinces in South Africa.
There
are many times when I look back over my journey and am grateful to
the setbacks too. They have certainly made me stronger and gave
birth to other opportunities, including the fact that I
teach others about writing and completing their book, finding a
publisher or self-publishing and finding publicity. More
importantly though, the setbacks have turned me into someone who
makes an effort to be concious of how I treat my fellow human being.
And that is a gift that I will cherish for as long as I live.
Forgiveness
played a huge role here. It later gave birth to my programme on
emotional intelligence, titled: The art of letting go
of crippling emotional pain and / prolonged anger.
About Andeline:
Andeline Williams-Pretorius
CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training
PR Consultant
Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG
Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier magazine
Author of self-published: Success;
it's your choice and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by
Naledi.
Recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's
Most Inspirational Women - Their glossy-page coffee table book is available
now.
Mobile: 072 856 0218
Http://www.andeline.co.za
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