When nurturing your family, don't forget about yourself

My Empathy contribution on RSG, this morning. Stay tuned between 09h00 & 10h00; between 100 & 104FM.  

"RSG, Dis die een."

There is nothing wrong with taking care of your family. However, you have to make sure that you do not loose yourself in the process. In the age of women empowerment, we still hear of too many cases where women are at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. This often happens when women stay at home to raise their children and take care of their family. When the kids are grown and when the husband's business is successful (something that would not have been possible without his wife's support), she often gets rewarded with a divorce.

Just last week, I read someone's wall post on a social media platform. She mentioned that she just witnessed her neighbour (an abused woman) leaving her home, with only the clothes on her back, before her husband arrived home.

And then someone else quoted something written (by a journalist) in a newspaper. In the article, she focused on women, who from generation to generation, allow themselves to be at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. One piece of the article (written in Afrikaans) roughly translated as: “...those women who still haven't woken up to realise that there is life beyond their husbands, children and sunlight liquid; these are the women who are often raising their young girls in the same way...”  This is heartbreaking. 

Recently, someone shared their story with me. After getting married, she was expected to stay home to raise four children. She accepted this to be her role, because this was what her mother had done as well. Over the years, she support her husband in building a successful business.  When she told me her story, she was sad, because she missed out on growing herself. She regretted the fact that she neglected her needs. Today, her children are grown, her husband's business is successful and he recently asked her for a divorce.

Yes, it might be noble to take care of one's children instead of having a career, but we shouldn't do it, while neglecting our needs and our personal growth. I'm certain that if mothers were to ask their children whether they would want that for their mothers, that the answer would be “no.”

My advice to women who decide to stay home to raise their children and take care of their families, do so, but make sure that you continue to learn and grow. There are many short courses that will allow you to spend appropriate time with your family, while at the same time, allow for your personal growth.

Nothing is cast in stone

Life is unpredictable. Even though you may start out your marriage as a committed couple, there is no guarantee that you will live happily ever after, because of your sacrifices. I recall a story that was shared on the Oprah Winfrey Show a number of years ago. It was about a woman who gave up her own needs to raise her family. In her interview with Oprah, she mentioned that she did that, because that was what her mother had done and she believed that that was how it was supposed to be. She supported her husband in building a successful business.

Her husband left her for his assistant, whom he later married. It was hard for her to accept being replaced when she had sacrificed so much.  One day, she went to her husband and his new wife's home and shot them both. What a tragedy?

She is still serving time. If only she had valued herself enough and continued growing herself, while supporting her husband and nurturing their children. 

See this link for a snippet of the story. http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/family/broderick/1.html

You can also see this link – Oprah's most memorable guests. http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Memorable-Guests/4

Where do you stand?

We need to do more with regards to the empowerment of women. However, we should take care to ensure that we do not empower women, while dis-empowering men. 

We should focus on finding that healthy balance.

And to the good men out there, I salute you.

Do you have an empathy / relationship challenge?

Let us know.  We may focus on your challenge next time.  Send a text message to 33343. Costs: R1,50 per text message;  OR you could send an email to brink@rsg.co.za

You can stay anonymous.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

BA (Health Science & Social Services) Unisa

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Wife & Mother

Regular Empathy & Relationships Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

PR Consultant

Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice which was approved for the school curriculum in

2006; and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi in December 2011.

Recognised by African Innovations Publishing as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women.

Their glossy-page coffee table book is available at selected branches of Exclusive books.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

The Empathy Lesson In The Oscar / Reeva-tragedy

The Oscar / Reeva tragedy has shocked us all, black and white. And now, weeks later, perhaps it is time do reflect, time to find possible lessons, locked up in this tragedy.

When I first heard the news, I was shocked, because: “how could this happen and what went wrong?” And what could we learn from this tragedy? 

Various comments

People have different opinions about this tragedy. Some are crucifying Oscar, while other's believe that it was an accident. Where do you stand and is your position motivated by race? Some people say that they do not understand how this tragedy has suddenly become about different races, especially since Oscar and Reeva belong to the same racial group.

Well, I know how this became a racial matter. It is because many things (issues) in our country, is about race, even when not necessarily so, because we often find a way to turn it into a racial matter.

I am proud of South Africans when I hear or read comments like: “We should not judge...” or “I have no right to judge.”

The only problem with such comments, is that in most cases, the absence of our judgment, is reserved to those times when the person, who appears to be on the other side of the law, belongs to our own racial group. And we gladly judge when this person does not belong to our racial group.

I see some black people do this, I see some white people do this, I see some Coloured people do this, etc.

Life is not fair...

People who have money, normally receive better services than those who have less money. This is one of those times when it seems as if race does not necessarily matter. We often hear of high profile individuals or those with “the right” connections, who went to jail and received “preferential treatment.”

We see people object against this “preferential treatment”. And once again, those who object, object when the one receiving such “preferential treatment”, belongs to a different racial group.

Why do we seem to turn a blind eye when the person receiving “preferential treatment”, belongs to our own racial group?

I'm certainly not writing here to judge. My objective, is to make us look in the mirror, to make us realise that we still have a lot to learn, when it comes to empathy, to getting into the shoes of others – to try and see things from their perspective.

When we object, we should do so irrespective of who the person is on the other side. If we could get this right, then there would be plenty of hope for South Africa, for improving and taking race relationships to the wonderful level where it could be.

When we are against something, let's be against it all of the time.

When we object against something, let's do so even when we have to object against our own, BECAUSE, people are always watching.

Do you have an Empathy & Relationship challenge and don't know how to deal with it?

Send us a text message (33343) or email (brink@rsg.co.za) and we might focus on your challenge next time.

You can stay anonymous.  Remember, text messages are charged at R1,50 each.

Thank you.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

info@andeline.co.za

Show empathy to yourself by improving your self-esteem and assertiveness

A healthy self-esteem and level of assertiveness, make it possible for us to show empathy to others. However, empathy to others, has to start with empathy to ourselves. It is sad to see people who say that they are confident and assertive, launching personal attacks on others. There is never any need for that – even when it is out of retaliation.  Remember that arrogance is a result of an over-inflated ego and has nothing to do with a healthy self-esteem and assertiveness.

It is still early in the new year and there fore you can still plan your year, if you haven't already.

Because our self-esteem and level of assertiveness influence our emotions, how we respond to certain situations, our daily activities and how we treat ourselves and others.

Example: We all become irritated or angry, but there is a clear difference between how the individual with a healthy self-esteem and level of assertiveness would respond, compared to the individual with low self-esteem who lacks assertiveness.

The individual who lacks self-esteem and assertiveness, may respond by insulting the other individual or by putting themselves down: “I am not good enough, and this is why this happened to me...”, while the one with a healthy self-esteem and assertiveness, may respond by evaluating the situation: “This, has happened, now what should I learn from it and how can I grow as a result?”

Manage your emotions and work on your relationships to eliminate the need to “escape the self”, by abusing drugs or alcohol, harming yourself or engaging in other forms of “escape.”

How could you do this? By focusing of these elements.

Be aware of your emotions.

When feeling a negative emotion, focus on the reason behind it, instead of allowing yourself to become too consumed. Write about your feelings and think of things that you could do to feel better.

Recognise when things are too much and if you need to seek professional help.

Accept yourself

This can be very challenging when you tell yourself that you are unworthy, stupid, unattractive and all the other negative things that you feed your mind.

Think about it this way: we all have good and positive qualities and ones that are not so positive. Remember: whatever we focus on, tend to multiply. Be conscious of those time when you feel those negative emotions and make an effort to change them immediately, by focusing on what is good, by focusing on your good qualities.

Become more assertiveness

If you are one of those individuals who often feel plagued by “should-have's” after a particular situation, then you should take the time to become more assertive. A healthy level of assertiveness, will not only assist you to speak up when it is necessary, but it will also assist you to identify those things or battles that are not worth losing sleep over.

If you struggle with a particular issue around assertiveness, get a friend or family member to assist you with role-play on how to respond in future. The more you practice, the easier it will become.

Remember, healthy assertiveness has nothing to do with aggressiveness.

Have a purpose

If you have a purpose, it could serve as a wonderful compass for your life. With a purpose, you could compare whether your actions, the way you respond to others, the way you treat others are in line with your purpose.

Some of the reasons for low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness

• Stereotypes,
• The after effects of inappropriate discipline during childhood,
• Negative influences in society,
• Physical appearance,
• Abuse,
• Financial difficulties,
• Rejection
• The way we treat people who seems different.

Some of the things you could do to improve your self-esteem. If you need guidance, find help.

• It is important to realise that there is a problem and that you could do something to improve it.
• And then you have to have the desire to improve it.
• Remember that you are unique and special. If this is hard to believe when you start out, it will get better, the more you practice.
• Remember all your accomplishments in the past, how you felt and know that you could feel like that again.
• Becoming involved with a charity organisation to do voluntary work, could do wonders for your self-esteem. When you make a positive contribution to someone's life, it is difficult to believe that you are worthless.
• Become fit, eat healthily and take care of your body.
• Set goals and reward yourself when you follow through.
• Remember that practice makes perfect.

Are you dealing with an Empathy or Relationship challenge and don't know how to resolve it?  If "yes", you could send an email to brinkm@sabc.co.za or send a text message to 33343. Text messages are charged at R1, 50 each. We might focus of your challenge next time. You CAN stay anonymous.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

PR Consultant

Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier magazine

Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi.

Recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women - Their glossy-page coffee table book is available now.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

How do you discipline your child? My next empathy contribution on Afrikaans radio station: RSG

The way in which we discipline our children, has a profound effect on them.  When I grew up, physical beatings were still at the order of the day.  I was three years old when I got my first real hiding - from my father.  My siblings were playing outside and didn't come in soon enough, after being ordered to do so.  

I still remember my father saying to me: "Don't think that just because you are the baby in the house, you can't get a hiding!"

I don't recall too much, but I do remember that I was sitting curled-up afterwards, thinking in my three year old mind that my father can't possibly love me, if he could beat me like that.

How do you discipline? 
How does your child feel afterwards?  
Do you know?

Get your copy of my book.  R159, 00 + R25, 00 Postage.

Contact me to order your copy.

Are you plagued by guilt because of how you've disciplined your children?
I spoke to someone (via telephone) on Saturday.  She told me about the many mistakes that she's made over the years when disciplining her children.  She mentioned how she struggles with guilt and how she is tried to "rectify" the situation by being good to her grandchildren.

Her further studies, not only made her realise that she's made mistakes, she also asked her children for forgiveness and managed to forgive herself and today she is making a positive contribution to the well-being of children.

Her children are not making the mistakes she's made, with their children.  Her grandchildren are lucky, because more often than not, inappropriate or abusive disciplining practices are carried over from one generation to the next.

Do you believe that children deserve respect and EMPATHY?

How were you disciplined as a child?

How many of those practices (good or bad) are you using with your children today?

Which one's will you never employ?

Do you make use of inappropriate discipline?

Are you aware of the possible damage to your child's self-esteem?

Are you aware of the possible damage to your child's level of assertiveness?

Do you struggle to do away with inappropriate or abusive discipline, even when you know that it is wrong?

Join us tomorrow (during my regular empathy slot on RSG) as we look at how parents discipline their children and the possible effects it has on the child. 

Do send us your questions or comments, between 09h00 & 12h00 on a week day, to brinkm@rsg.co.za or text message: 33343.  Text messages are charged at R1,50 each.

Stay tuned between 09h00 & 10h00.  Frequency: between 100 & 104FM.


What is your empathy or relationship challenge?
Let us know by sending an email to Martelize at brinkm@rsg.co.za 

Alternatively, you can send a text message to 33343.  Text messages are charged at R1,50 each.  

We may be focusing on your challenge next time.

Thank you for listening.

"RSG, dis die een."


More About Me: Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training, Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Andeline is Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier Magazine. 

She is PR Consultant;

Empathy & Relationship Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG.

Http://www.andeline.co.za

http://za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

https://www.facebook.com/andelinewilliamspretorius

Women of Substance Conference and more wonderful news

Dear Visitors to - and Readers of my Blog,

Good day.

It certainly feels as if I have been neglecting you - no blog posts for a number of weeks.  I do apologise.  

I have been very busy lately, laying foundations and working hard at building my career.  It is wonderful when one is able to see how things materialise.  
When I grow, I am able to provide an even better service.  
After my interview on SAFM last week Thursday, I was booked to speak at a wonderful conference yesterday, Women of Substance, hosted by Mamas & Papas Magazine. Wonderful work that they are doing beyond the beautiful magazine and television show.

 See what great publicity can do for you?  

This is why I am so passionate about presenting my programme: Grow your personal brand or business by getting great publicity.  
Anyone who wishes to be differentiated from the crowd by presenting themselves as an expert in their field or the small business owner should learn how to do this. Should you have enquiries about this programme, do contact me - details below.


Back to the conference...
The Women of Substance Conference was attended by 450 women.  I was proud to be involved and am inspired by the great work Mamas & Papas magazine does, beyond the magazine and television show.

My topic: Wolf At The Back Door Syndrome.  Please click this link to read my complete article on this phenomenon:
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Top-Seven-Indications-That-You-Are-Suffering-From-Wolf-at-the-Back-Door-Syndrome&id=7212373


I gladly share some of the conference images with you.  See further down.



Something else that I've been working on, is my event, coming up in October: The Wellness & Networking Event For Women.  This is an annual event and we focus on all aspects of women's well-being.

Our speakers include experts in the following arena's:
Financial well-being.
Legal well-being (For this year our lawyer specialises in civil matters).
Emotional / Psychological well-being - (For this year, our Psychologist is a regular expert on 3Talk.

We also have a medical expert, who'll be doing voluntary blood pressure checks, to mention a few of our focus areas.  
Yes, as women, we are so busy and we are often the last person on our list of priorities.  At this event, you are expected to sit back, relax and totally think of yourself.

Products for our goodie bags are also starting to arrive.  Wonderful.

Yesterday's Women Of substance Conference

Yesterday, just before I left home.

At the conference, inside the beautifully made-up room.

The beautiful conference room - prepared to host 450 guests.

Andeline & Nawaal, Founder and Editor in Chief at Mamas & Papas magazine.  Nawaal gave a fantastic talk about women in the work place. 

Delegates are starting to take their seats.

Taking a seat, early morning, after familiarising myself with the technical stuff.

..............................................................................

More accolades:

My company: Andeline's Motivational Training was nominated  in the Roodepoort Chamber Of Commerce prestigious Business Of The Year Awards, 2012.  The award ceremony takes place in October.  Hold thumbs for me...  Thank you.

And yes, I am available to speak at your event / conference.  I give talks in English or in Afrikaans.  Contact me with your enquiries.  

Mobile:     072 856 0218.  

Email:       info@andeline.co.za

Website:  http://www.andeline.co.za

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In Mekaar Se Skoene

This is the title of my book on Empathy, published by Naledi.  You can catch me every Tuesday morning between 09h00 & 10h00 on Afrikaans radio station: RSG, focusing on various relationship challenges and how we can resolve it with empathy.

Contact me to order your copy.  Cost: R159. 00.

What is your empathy challenge?

Send information about your empathy / relationship challenge to the RSG studio, to 33343, and we may focus on your challenge next.

................................................

 South Africa's Most Inspirational Women

This glossy-page coffee table book, that I, together with twenty-nine other women are featured in, will be available by mid September 2012. It is published by African Innovations.

My image - the last one in the second row (horizontal).  It is an honour to be featured among so many wonderful women, leaders in various industries.

Dreams do come true...  

How far I have come, since the dusty streets of Urbanville in George, Southern Cape?  I work hard to honour the wonderful memory of my mother, a domestic worker who had to raise seven children by herself after my father left. 

I don't know how she did it.  What a strong woman she was?  A woman who possessed great wisdom and resilience.  I feel honoured to have inherited a little of that kind of strength.

Contact Lonwabo Jabavu with your enquiries or if you would like to order your copy - a collectors item indeed. 

lonwabo@africaninnovations.co.za

Empathy to / for ourselves

In order to effectively demonstrate empathy to others, it is important that we first show empathy to ourselves. With the nearing Women's Month, I can't help but think of the countless women who are fulfilling their role as mother, wife, community worker and / or in the work place.

The needs of others often come before their own and sometimes their needs are not even part of the list of items on their to-do list.

The foundation of empathy for ourselves is based in a healthy self-esteem (self-care) and assertiveness. Many people struggle with this, even though they have empathy for others. The secret is about balance. Too much empathy for others, while having none for ourselves can lead to you being taken advantage of. You'll end up being one of those people who are always wondering: “Why is this always happening to me?” This will lead to frustration and resentment, because the person with too much empathy, (while having none for themselves) are often unable to express their needs. They say yes to people when they are supposed to say no.

Where do you start when wanting to rectify such a situation?

Change takes time and practice. The most important point to remember is that you deserve the good treatment and care that you are willing to give to someone else. You have to claim that for yourself. Women in particular should lose the super-woman syndrome, believing that they have to be there for everybody.

Showing empathy to people when you feel resentful, because you feel used, is not good at all.

Together with the knowledge of knowing that you deserve better, comes a healthy self-esteem. If you do not feel good about yourself, work on improving your self-esteem.

Learn to say “No”. Do not become that person who runs around, making sure that everybody is happy and have what they need, while neglecting yourself.

It is all about balance.

Some people may have to ask God for permission to have at least one swear word in their vocabulary, especially when they start out making the changes. Let's face it, some people do not respond to kind behaviour and communication, because they see it as a weakness. Your one swear word may come in handy here.  And NO, you do not have to go around swearing at people; you use this word in privacy, after someone has made you mad or after you have allowed yourself to be abused yet again.  You may find that it is a wonderful stress reliever.

When you are healed, are more assertive and have the balance right with showing empathy to others and yourself, you can lose this word...or keep it. The choice is yours.

On the flipside of this, is the person with a lack of empathy for others. This may be an indication of too much self-importance that may indicate a personality disorder. On the other side: a lack of empathy for others may be an indication of a person who has had enough of showing empathy and being abused and reached that stage where they say: “Enough is enough.” Neither options are good.

When you take care of yourself, your needs and wants and see them as as important as the needs of others, you do not have to get to the stage where you turn your back on empathy.

This is the topic that we will focus on tomorrow morning, between 09h00 & 10h00. Do stay tuned.

What is your empathy challenge or what would you like me to focus on?

Let us know by sending a text message to the RSG studio – 33343. You can send your message every week day, between 09h00 & 12h00. Text messages are charged at R1,50 each. We may be focusing on your suggestion next.

“RSG, Dis Die Een.”

Andeline Williams-Pretorius is an Inspirational Speaker, Trainer & Author. She is passionate about making a positive contribution to South Africa. She does this through her speaking and training and her passion for empathy.

If you struggle with Empathy, Self-esteem or Assertiveness and feel the need to participate in a programme, contact Andeline to enquire about her one-on-one sessions.

You can also visit her website for more information about her topics: Http://www.andeline.co.za

You can also visit the Facebook page of The Empathy Campaign: Http://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa

Contact Andeline with your enquiries.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Email: info@andeline.co.za

Empathy to our “friends” on social media platforms

The importance of empathy in our friendships. Most people would agree that we need to be considerate when dealing with our friends. Does the same apply when it comes to our friends on social media platforms?

To tag, post, share or not.  What are your thoughts?

Do you have an agreement with your friends to tag them? Do you tag your friends in posts or images that are of no interest to them? Do you know how they feel about this? Do you care?

Over the last few weeks, I have seen that quite a number of my facebook friends posted a request on their wall, asking their “friends” to refrain from tagging them and posting messages or images on their wall that are of no interest to them.

The list of irritations include:

Join my cause.

Being tagged in a post or image that is of no interest to the owner of the wall or page.

Being tagged in images that discriminate against a particular group.

Do you post anything on your friend's walls while you set your settings so nobody could post on your wall or tag you, unless they respond to one of your posts?

Do you think that it is acceptable to post or tag your friends in anything and everything that you wish?

Do you think that they are just over-sensitive when they complain?

Do you do this or have you been on the receiving end?

Regardless of which side of the fence you are on, you can participate in the discussion tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. If you see your friends' wall as yours or if you have a problem with friends who do this, send your text message to the studio. The number to use is 33343. Text messages charged at R1, 50 per text message.

What is your Empathy challenge?

If you have a particular challenge around empathy in any of your relationships, you can send a text message to the RSG studio, every week day, between 09h00 & 12h00. We may be focusing on your challenge next. The number to use is 33343. Text messages charged at R1, 50 per text message.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius is an Inspirational Speaker / Trainer / Counsellor / Author / Empathy & relationship expert.

Special offer until the end of July when you order from me

Order your copy of my book on Empathy by the end of July and and pay NO postage.

You can also find my book: In Mekaar Se Skoene at your nearest Exclusive Books or Bargain Books branch. If they don't have it in stock, you can ask them to order from On The Dot. 

Thank you,

Yours in Empathy

Andeline

EMPATHY ANGELS

The Empathy Campaign is about MORE than the translation of my book on Empathy. Yes, I am a dreamer and a visionary.  But with that, comes responsibility and the commitment to work at achieving these dreams.  Indeed, I am committed.  It takes a lot from an ordinary South African citizen with only a dream, to decide to follow that dream, in spite of a lack of support.  I completed my book on empathy had it published (see image below), secured a regular empathy slot on radio.  Here I am, still committed to continue with this great cause, a cause that South Africa needs; a cause that needs South Africa's commitment.  

I dream about the wonderful and positive contribution that I and every other South African who believes in nation building could contribute to South Africa. Apart from the other voluntary work that I am involved with, the foundation for my passion to contribute to nation building, is based on The Empathy Campaign http://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa

This passion came from understanding what it feels like to be on the receiving end of unkind and inconsiderate behaviour, of severe discrimination that were justified because of who I am, where I come from, what I look like. My powerful journey of personal growth made it possible to forgive.

The pain from my past, brought a wealth of good. It made me say: “Because I know what that feels like, I can never do it to another human being.” Let's re-consider our unkind actions.

Let's Ask: “How would I feel if I was on the receiving end?

Let's Act: And perhaps we'll be inspired to decide against such actions.

I was further inspired by ordinary South Africans and some, not so ordinary South Africans. I call them my EMPATHY ANGELS.

My dream with EMPATHY ANGELS, is to inspire South Africans to identify people in their communities, people who are making an empathic difference in the lives of others. With the necessary support from Government and Corporate South Africa, we'll be able to pay tribute to such individuals with what I call, an Empathy Angels Awards. Until it happens, I'll continue doing what I am absolutely passionate about, sharing the empathy message with South Africa on various platforms.

I am always looking around and getting inspired by the work that other people do. Stories about their kind and empathic gestures that they display, gestures that deserve to have that snowball effect. Today, I would like to identify some of these individuals who, with their actions, inspired me to choose between getting revenge and doing what is good for South Africa. Yes there are many individuals out there, making an empathic difference in their communities and South Africa. Today I'll focus on a few who stand out for me. These individuals include:

Mr. Nelson Mandela

His wonderful example set for people of all races in South Africa and around the world. An example that was instrumental in my journey towards healing and letting go of emotional pain and bitterness. I was able to forgive, because I had a great example to look at.

Angelique Fuhr

She is the 83 year old widow who discovered James Bhemgee, winner of "South Africa's got talent", season 2. He worked as a street sweeper and was always singing while doing his job. She realised his talent and sponsored singing lesson, among other things. As they say, the rest is history. Her investment has paid off.

She deserves all the praise for doing this, as a white South African nurturing the wonderful talent of a coloured man, a street sweeper at that, living on the Cape flats. May her soul rest in peace.

Apparently she still has a daughter, living in Cape Town. I'll be in touch with her as soon as the Empathy Angels Awards become a reality.

Prof. Jonathan Jansen, Rector at Free State University

Well, it takes courage to do the thing that eventually will contribute to the greater good of humanity- especially when there is so much criticism. It could not have been easy to be in that position. One thing I believe that we cannot deny, is that his decisions around the painful incident that took place at Reitz, was done with good intention, to eventually contribute to the greater good of South Africa. Love him or hate him; how would you have handled the situation?

Prof. Jansen also wrote the Foreword of my book on EMPATHY: In Mekaar Se Skoene.

Mr. Willem Maree

A homeless and jobless white South African saving a little black girl from drowning. He didn't say: “She's black, I'm white and I will not save her.”

He saved her life. What a wonderful example for nation building?

http://www.rapport.co.za/Suid-Afrika/Nuus/Meisie-9-van-waterdood-gered-deur-werklose-20111105

Blaine Vlantis

I recently discovered this young lady on Twitter. After reading her blog post, I knew that she deserves to be on this list. And hopefully one day soon an Empathy Angels Award will mean something, hopefully one day soon, the recipient will have something that they could hang on their wall.

How often do we fail to empathise with those who do not belong to our racial group, our cultural group, our religion? How often do we justify unkind treatment of those who represent the group or institution of that one individual who caused us pain? How often?

Blaine's blog post starts with: “How weird is it that they’ve put all the black girls in rooms on the bottom floor together?”

Read her complete blog post by clicking this link:

http://vryestudent.com/profiles/blogs/yeah-but-you-said-it-hetero-racialism-in-stellenbosch1

My dearest mother: Maria Williams

I do not recall that she has ever worn shoes that didn't belong to someone else first. In spite of extreme poverty, she was a woman of strength, a woman of great wisdom. “Never do unto others what you do not want done to you.” These words she spoke on a regular basis. By the time she passed on, these words were engraved in my mind and her valuable teachings guided me through many challenges in the past.

She struggled with raising seven children by herself after my father left. More often than not, the cupboards were bare, but she raised her children, always emphasising respect and good manners, treating other people well, “because you want them to treat you well”. In spite of all the hardships, she was our rock. She always told us that if we wanted to see our father, that she would not stand in our way. How noble? So often we hear those sad stories about parents splitting up, where one parent keeps the children from having a relationship with the other parent, often simply because they blame the other for the break-up.

It was heart-warming to hear the words of Dr. Frank Chikane on television news the other day. He said: “We should get to that place where we are able to get into the boots of others.” This tells me that our politicians are realising the importance of nation building. They too need the support from citizens. I pledge mine.

I believe in nation building and I am willing to contribute towards it, for the greater good of all. I will never think of myself as so powerful that I could manage and grow The Empathy Campaign by myself. No, I can't and do not want to. This campaign needs all the support that it can get.

If you have any enquiries, do contact me.

Thank you, South Africa.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Traininig

Creator Of The Empathy Campaign

Speaker / Trainer / Author / Counsellor

Http://www.andeline.co.za

Http://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa

http://andelinewilliamspretorius.blogspot.com/2012/05/help-spread-important-message-of.html

Listen to my regular Empathy contributions on Afrikaans radio station RSG, Tuesday's between 09h00 & 10h00.

Andeline is one of thrirty women recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women. Their glossy-page coffee table book will be available in August 2012. Contact Lonwabo Jabavu with your enquiries about this fabulous and very inspirational book.  Lonwabo@africaninnovations.co.za