When nurturing your family, don't forget about yourself

My Empathy contribution on RSG, this morning. Stay tuned between 09h00 & 10h00; between 100 & 104FM.  

"RSG, Dis die een."

There is nothing wrong with taking care of your family. However, you have to make sure that you do not loose yourself in the process. In the age of women empowerment, we still hear of too many cases where women are at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. This often happens when women stay at home to raise their children and take care of their family. When the kids are grown and when the husband's business is successful (something that would not have been possible without his wife's support), she often gets rewarded with a divorce.

Just last week, I read someone's wall post on a social media platform. She mentioned that she just witnessed her neighbour (an abused woman) leaving her home, with only the clothes on her back, before her husband arrived home.

And then someone else quoted something written (by a journalist) in a newspaper. In the article, she focused on women, who from generation to generation, allow themselves to be at the financial mercy of the men in their lives. One piece of the article (written in Afrikaans) roughly translated as: “...those women who still haven't woken up to realise that there is life beyond their husbands, children and sunlight liquid; these are the women who are often raising their young girls in the same way...”  This is heartbreaking. 

Recently, someone shared their story with me. After getting married, she was expected to stay home to raise four children. She accepted this to be her role, because this was what her mother had done as well. Over the years, she support her husband in building a successful business.  When she told me her story, she was sad, because she missed out on growing herself. She regretted the fact that she neglected her needs. Today, her children are grown, her husband's business is successful and he recently asked her for a divorce.

Yes, it might be noble to take care of one's children instead of having a career, but we shouldn't do it, while neglecting our needs and our personal growth. I'm certain that if mothers were to ask their children whether they would want that for their mothers, that the answer would be “no.”

My advice to women who decide to stay home to raise their children and take care of their families, do so, but make sure that you continue to learn and grow. There are many short courses that will allow you to spend appropriate time with your family, while at the same time, allow for your personal growth.

Nothing is cast in stone

Life is unpredictable. Even though you may start out your marriage as a committed couple, there is no guarantee that you will live happily ever after, because of your sacrifices. I recall a story that was shared on the Oprah Winfrey Show a number of years ago. It was about a woman who gave up her own needs to raise her family. In her interview with Oprah, she mentioned that she did that, because that was what her mother had done and she believed that that was how it was supposed to be. She supported her husband in building a successful business.

Her husband left her for his assistant, whom he later married. It was hard for her to accept being replaced when she had sacrificed so much.  One day, she went to her husband and his new wife's home and shot them both. What a tragedy?

She is still serving time. If only she had valued herself enough and continued growing herself, while supporting her husband and nurturing their children. 

See this link for a snippet of the story. http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/family/broderick/1.html

You can also see this link – Oprah's most memorable guests. http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Memorable-Guests/4

Where do you stand?

We need to do more with regards to the empowerment of women. However, we should take care to ensure that we do not empower women, while dis-empowering men. 

We should focus on finding that healthy balance.

And to the good men out there, I salute you.

Do you have an empathy / relationship challenge?

Let us know.  We may focus on your challenge next time.  Send a text message to 33343. Costs: R1,50 per text message;  OR you could send an email to brink@rsg.co.za

You can stay anonymous.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

BA (Health Science & Social Services) Unisa

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Wife & Mother

Regular Empathy & Relationships Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

PR Consultant

Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice which was approved for the school curriculum in

2006; and In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi in December 2011.

Recognised by African Innovations Publishing as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women.

Their glossy-page coffee table book is available at selected branches of Exclusive books.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

Four keys to being a regular guest on radio, for a year and longer

Opportunity comes to those who...create them.

On 25 January 2013 I've been blessed to share my message of empathy on radio, for exactly one year.  This wonderful opportunity came about, as a result of my book on empathy, titled:In Mekaar Se Skoene. 

From the very beginning, I said to myself that I will treat the opportunity as if it is a paying job.  And I'm glad I did, because it has opened another avenue, that I have to remain tight-lipped about for a little while longer.  Even though I didn't get paid in monetary terms, the positive feedback received and the fact that I am still on air, are priceless rewards.

Like Richard Branson says: “Do good, have fun and the money will come.”

I look back at my journey; a journey that was one of growth and contribution.

BUT...

• What did I do? 

• How did I do it?

• And what could I share with you, should you be interested in sharing your knowledge on a particular media platform.

1.  Commitment:

It is extremely important to make the commitment, once you have made up your mind about following a particular journey.

2.  Be available and be ready

My empathy contribution is done via telephone. 

Can you imagine how my hosts would feel if they were to call one day, and I do not answer my telephone? That would create an inconvenience, leave them feeling irritated, but it would also mean that I am unreliable.

I make sure that I am available, that I am close to my telephone when it rings, and more importantly, that I am ready to share my contribution.  My wonderful hosts do not have to call me ten minutes before the time, to tell me that they will call me within the next ten minutes. 

They know that I will be on the other side and that I will be ready.

This builds trust – something that is extremely important in business.

3.  Preparation

It is important to prepare, irrespective of how well you think you know your topic.  This shows respect for yourself and your work, for your host(s), but most importantly, for your audience.

4.  It's not about you, but about the listeners

To be a regular guest / regular expert on radio, it is important to remember that it should not be about you, but about the listener.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How will my message benefit the listener, (my audience)?
• How will their lives be enriched by being exposed to my message?
• What could I teach them?
• What could I remind them of? or 
• How could I make them think?

It is also important to NOT offend the listener.   Do not underestimate their intelligence.  If you have to communicate a difference of opinion, you can do so in a respectful and empathic manner.

Remember the above points and positive rewards would be inevitable.  Apart from wonderful feedback, you will gain the respect of your audience and might gain a few more clients.

All these came my way, as well as the wonderful bonus that I need to remain tight-lipped about for a little while longer.

Food For Thought

When your foundation is empathy, service, and to positively contribute, it might take a little while longer to reach your destination, but believe me: you will get there and you will get there good.   

Best wishes with your journey of building your personal brand or business by getting great publicity. Should you require my services in this regard, contact me to request a quote.

In my programme, I focus on the following:

Write your book and use it to position yourself as an expert

Be a guest on radio or television, sharing your knowledge and / or expertise

Convince a reputable publication to tell your life-or business story

How to identify an opportunity to become a columnist

Register your passion as an NPO 

                                          In-Law Support, NPO 070-849

In all of the above, I focus on:

• the how-to's,
• valuable and practical steps,
• real examples,
• approaching journalists, editors and/or producers,
• Common mistakes that you should avoid.

Thank you.  I hope that you have found some value in this blog post.

And do connect with me on Linkedin: za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius/

and follow me on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author

Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

Email: info@andeline.co.za

Why aren't we seeing real change, when it comes to abuse? My empathy contribution on RSG this morning.

It is that time of the year again; time for 16 days of activism against the abuse of women and children.  I look back over the years and ask myself why it seems as if nothing has changed, in spite of this campaign, in spite of millions that are pumped into awareness campaigns every year.  And sadly, it seems as if every second organisation jumps onto the band waggon, because there is money to be made - when they know that they would not "care" if this was not the case.

Yes, there are wonderful organisations that are truly committed to making a positive contribution and they do.

Why do we still see so many cases of abuse?
My guess is that the focus has become fancy "fundraising" parties, instead of creating real change, by focusing on the root cause.  And that is the self-esteem and level of assertiveness of both women and men.

What comes to mind here, is the person who says that they are passionate about education, but they have a domestic worker who can't read and write, and they don't bother about that.  

Why do abused women allow abuse?
Some of the many reasons include a lack of self-esteem and assertiveness.  Another big culprit, is the fact that they grew up and witnessed abuse and were conditioned into believing that that was acceptable.  Some abused women have such a distorted picture of what love is and feel "loved" when they are abused by their partner.

"The sins of the fathers" - carried over from one generation to the next.
As someone who grew up in an abusive environment, I am glad that I saw the day when my mother said: "Enough."  She saw the effect of having to witness her being beaten, had on her children.  She took a stand, but was it a little too late?

My mother turned her back on abuse.  She no longer was a victim.  She taught us to never allow ourselves to be abused in a relationship.  I wrongfully believed that there was only physical abuse and lost sight of the other forms of abuse.  I allowed myself to be in two relationships where I wasn't treated with much respect.  I stayed for far too long, because I thought: "At least he doesn't beat me..."  This is the story of still too many women today.

I eventually walked away, because I realised that I deserved to be treated better.  It started by me treating myself better and with more respect.

She was not so lucky
One of my sisters was not so lucky.  She died as a result of staying with an abusive man.  Due to a technicality, he was never prosecuted.  She was set alight by this man and ended up in hospital with third degree burns over 55% of her body.  She was in hospital for months.  We didn't think that she would recover.  While still in hospital, receiving skin transplants and physiotherapy, she contracted meningitis.  Her complaints about severe headaches in hospital, had fallen on deaf ears.  

I still remember asking one of the nurses whether they shouldn't do a cat scan, because my sister cannot complain about headaches every day.  This nurse said to me: "The doctor said that she is just pretending and looking for attention."   

The "joy's" of being in a government hospital...  

The meningitis was only discovered after my sister lost consciousness. This was the cause of death, so this man never paid for what he has done to my sister.

Improving my self-esteem, my saving grace

I look back, and can hardly believe that I allowed myself to be disrespected like that.  Being the person that I am today, I cannot believe that I stayed in those relationships back then.  

Before meeting my husband, I managed to start working on improving my self-esteem.  It was a wonderful change to be in a relationship where my opinion mattered, where what I wanted to do, was important as well.

I have since been on a mission to guide women and young girls with improving their self-esteem and level of assertiveness.  I have also developed a training programme that has helped a number of people - including men.

Why do abusive men abuse their partner?

Once again, there are many reasons.  The most important ones, include a lack of self-esteem and assertiveness.  Some abusers grew up in an environment where they were abused as children or witnessed their mother being abused.  They are conditioned into believing that that is how you resolve conflict, and that is what you are supposed to treat women.  This is what they know and the vicious cycle continues, often from the one generation to the next.

How do we change this?  How do we bring those abuse statistics down?
We can do this by taking a real stand.  If you are a woman who is abused by your partner, you can make a decision today to no longer stand for it.  If you have children, look at the effects of witnessing you being abused, has on them.  

When you stay, you are indirectly teaching them that abuse is acceptable. They won't be able to make better decisions.  You have a responsibility to choose in what kind of family your children will grow up.  Make it one where they don't witness abuse.  Improve your self-esteem and assertiveness, because there is no way that you'll allow yourself to be abused when you feel good about yourself and when you know your wonderful worth and value.

Make sure that your young boys grow up knowing that they need to treat women with the same kind of respect that they wish to receive.  Make sure that your young boys grow up with a healthy self-esteem and level of assertiveness.

All too often aggression is mistaken for assertiveness and children are taught, directly or indirectly, that you use your fists to resolve conflict.  This is not okay.  This is not okay.

Let's do our bit to ensure that real positive change.  

Why do we constantly have to work at fixing broken people, when we have an opportunity to try and do things right from the very beginning.  We have an opportunity to write the best messages on that clean slate of our children.

The importance of EMPATHY
What a wonderful virtue?  
With empathy, we can (over time), eradicate so many social ills.  What a wonderful world we'll be able to build when more people would be focusing on the importance of empathy; when more people would consider getting into the shoes of others, BEFORE doing or saying that hurtful thing.

What a wonderful world we'll be able to build when more people would consider asking themselves: How would I feel if someone would do the hurtful thing that I consider doing, to me or to someone I care about?  How would I feel?

And hopefully these questions will inspire us to do something different.


What is your empathy or relationship challenge?
Let us know by sending a text message to the RSG studio 33343 - on week days between 09h00 and 12h00.  Text messages are charged at R1, 50 each.  Alternatively, you can send an email to brinkm@rsg.co.za  We might be focusing on your challenge next time.  And remember, you can stay anonymous.

"RSG, Dis die een."

Thank you.

Yours in Empathy.

Andeline.
Mobile: 072 856 0218
Email: info@andeline.co.za


About Andeline Williams-Pretorius
"Andeline is an Inspirational Speaker and Trainer.  She is the author of a book on empathy, titled: In Mekaar Se Skoene that was published by Naledi.

She is Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier Magazine and regular Empathy and Relationship expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG.

Andeline was identified by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women." 

Their glossy-page coffee table book is available now. It is a wonderful collectors item and will make a wonderful Christmas gift.

This is what the cover of this beautiful book looks like.

To order your copy (R350,00 each), contact Lonwabo Jabavu at African Innovations Publishing: lonwabo@africaninnovations.co.za   
Mobile: 073 044 0604.

OR
Enquire at your nearest Exclusive Books or CNA.

To hug or not to hug... This morning on RSG, during my regular Empathy slot

Every Tuesday, between 09h00 & 10h00, we get into the shoes of others.

Join me this morning, as I focus on another enquiry from a listener who is concerned about the rules around hugging.  "RSG - Dis die een."

She mentioned that she is generally friendly and that she loves people, but that she doesn't like it when people want to hug her.

What are your rules around hugging? Do you like to give or receive hugs?

Image - free hugs campaign

   

When it comes to empathy and our relationships with other people, it is important that we are aware that people are different and that they have likes and dislikes. And when we would like others to respect our differences, likes and dislikes, we have to be willing to grant them the same.

This is obviously not always the case, because all too often, we find that people have a different perspective and they do not know how to communicate that. They are afraid that they will hurt someone else's feelings.

Respect and empathy

Very often we see that people do not voice their opinion, because they are afraid of offending the other person. But in keeping quiet, we are actually sacrificing our right to be happy and free.

Wearing a t-shirt with the words: Please do not hug me or putting a note on your office door, would be a bit extreme. It may be a solution when you have tried everything else.

There is no better substitute for open, honest and respectful communication. Why not create an environment at home, at your work place or in your family set-up, where you can talk and share about these and other issues. When we are willing to voice our opinion, with respect and empathy and without deliberately hurting the other person, then we should do so. This could lead to better communication and better relationships.

If you do not like to give or receive hugs, be honest and tell the person who wants to hug you. If you can relate a story about what has brought on your objection to hugging, it is even better.

Creatively get out of a hug. When you see it coming, hold out your hand for a handshake instead.

Another option, is to pretend to not see that the person wants to hug you, to briefly look away and when you look back in their direction, to then hold out your hand for a handshake.

Etiquette

Hugs are more common these days and we often see that they are not necessarily only reserved for family members. Friends, acquaintances and even strangers hug each other.

Some people who do not like hugging, object for various reasons. These may include: hygienic reasons, a previous bad encounter where they encountered bad body odour, cultural or religious reasons, or some may feel uncomfortable with having another person in their personal space.

Whether we like hugging or not, it is important to realise that for everything that we like or approve of, that there is someone out there who dislikes or disapprove of our preference. When in doubt, educate yourself by speaking to people and finding out.

With social media, we often start talking to strangers who are our “friends” in cyberspace. It can be awkward when we get to meet some of these “friends”. Do you hug them or not?

Some people love hugs and will hug everybody. For others, hugging is reserved to family and close friends.

Friends and close relatives

Most people would say that it is appropriate to hug them. In some case there has to be an agreement that it is okay, because some people also object to hugs from relatives.

Acquaintances

Some people are very close with their acquaintances, because they work together and often spend a lot of time together, outside of working hours.

When both parties are comfortable, I guess that it is okay to hug.

The opposite sex

This can be a tricky one if you don't know the rules and like to hug people. Unless it is a really good or close friend, you have to take time to find out whether it is okay to hug them. They may have a girlfriend or spouse who do not like them to be hugged by someone from the opposite sex, more so when it is an attractive someone.

Be careful, because hugging in this instance can be seen as inappropriate and you do not want a sexual harassment case filed against you. Know the rules and boundaries.

When we consider respect and empathy, we can't go wrong. Be willing to walk in the shoes of others and see things from their perspective. And if you are not sure about what the right or appropriate thing is, ask.

.....................................

What is your empathy or relationship challenge?

Send a text message to 33343 (R1, 50) or an email to brinkm@rsg.co.za to let us know. I might be focusing on your challenge next time.  

You can stay anonymous.

Thank you for your participation.  We appreciate it.

.......................................

A copy of my book, up for grabs!!!

"Like" the page of The Empathy Campaign on facebook, by Friday midday (28 September 2012), send and email to info@andeline.co.za to let me know that you have "liked" the page.  

http://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa 

You could be the winner of: In Mekaar Se Skoene.

You are welcome to post words of wisdom about empathy on the page.

If you would like to order your copy, you can contact me, by sending an email to info@andeline.co.za  I'll email you the banking details for payment.  As soon as I receive your payment, I'll mail your copy.  R159,00 + R24,00 postage.

Thank you.

In mekaar se Skoene, has been described as "one of those books that needs to be on the bookshelf of every South African household."

Do connect with me on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin.

See previous blog entries about my upcoming event: The Wellness & Networking Event For Women, to be hosted on 16 October 2012, at the beautiful Alice Art in Ruimsig.

Should you require more information about the event, do contact me.  I will upload the invitation shortly.

Thank you and have a blessed day.

Geniet Braaidag, hou matigheid voor oë en ry veilig. 

Andeline Williams-Pretorius 

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Nominated in the ROCCI - Business of the year awards, 2012.

Andeline is Resident Life Coach & Columnist at Kuier Magazine. 

PR Consultant; Inspirational Speaker & Trainer

Empathy & Relationship Expert on Afrikaans radio station: RSG.

Recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women

Their glossy page coffee table book, featuring Andeline and 29 others (including industry leaders), coming soon.

Http://www.andeline.co.za

http://za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

https://www.facebook.com/andelinewilliamspretorius

Talking about differences, likes and dislikes - the dance floor vs the boxing ring

This morning, during my regular Empathy slot on RSG, (every Tuesday, somewhere between 09h00 & 10h00), I'll be focusing on the best way in which to talk about differences between people and communicate likes and dislikes.

When it comes to addressing such differences, we have two options - doing it on the dance floor or in the boxing ring.

For the longest time, most people have been doing it in the boxing ring.  And I guess that this is the reason why we are still where we are, still unsure about other people and not knowing how to approach them and address certain issues.

We received an overwhelming response from RSG listeners last week, asking how to deal with certain situations in the work place.  These things are happening outside of the work place as well.  The following issues were some of those that were raised:


Listener one

I have a colleague at work, who, every time I comb my hair or put on lipstick, she wants to use my comb and lipstick too.  How do I deal with this?  How do I tell her that I do not like this, without being seen as a racist?

Before focusing on this particular question, my question to the employer of these two individuals would be: "Why haven't you created a work place culture, where one could communicate their likes, dislikes and differences with respect and empathy?"  This question from the particular listener that might seem like an insignificant matter, could have a negative impact on the productivity of both employees, if it doesn't get resolved on the dance floor- (with respectful and empathic communication.)

It is important to create an environment at work and in society, where people feel free and safe to voice their opinions.  We deal with people of different races, cultures and religions in the work place and elsewhere, therefore creating such a platform is extremely important.

My answer to this listener
I do understand your concerns about the possibility of being seen as a racist, if you were to communicate your disapproval to your colleague.  It is sad that your work place doesn't have a platform where you could do this with respect and empathy, on the dance floor instead of in the boxing ring.

One of the key things to remember, is that we should never generalise.  

In South Africa, we wonder about things that people from other cultures, races and religions do.  And it is sad that we are "afraid" to ask about those things that we do not understand.  We are fearful, because most of us do not know how to ask without generalising.  Generalising is an invitation to the boxing ring.

I remember that somebody once asked me: "Why do you Coloureds like to pull your front teeth?"  
This person asked this question to me, a Coloured who has front teeth.  Let's just say that I wasn't very friendly...

To listener one...
If you were to communicate with your colleague, it is important to not make the mistake and ask her: Why do you (people of your racial group and / or culture) do this?  This is generalisation and belongs in the boxing ring.  And I guess that this is how we have been doing it for the longest time.  And this is why we are still struggling with the same issues.  Believe me that there are people from different races and cultures who do not mind sharing their personal items and there are those who do.  

If you have hygiene concerns, which are legitimate, communicate these to your colleague.  Instead of only focusing on what you could possibly catch from her by sharing your comb and lipstick, point out that she could also catch something from you by using your personal items.  

I have recently watched the DR. OZ Show on television and was shocked to see the bacteria that were found on the lipstick- and mascara testers at make-up counters, that are there for all to use.  Anybody who has seen the show (and was in the habit of sharing such personal items) would never want to use someone else's lipstick again - even if it is the lipstick of their family member or of a very good friend.


Listener two

This listener had concerns about sharing cool drink (I guess drinking from the same straw).  I would say that the same (as above) applies here.  Communicate your preference with respect and empathy - on the dance floor, allowing her to take a step after you have taken a step.

You can say: "I do not understand why you would want to be exposed to catching possible germs from me by drinking on my straw.  I would not like to catch germs from someone else, and that is why I prefer to not share a straw."

Your colleague could then tell you why they do not mind sharing in this way, but would not be as offended, because you prefer something different.

If you have challenges around communicating about such issues in the work place, then I guess it is time for some changes; time to create a platform where different individuals are invited to the work place dance floor, where respectful and empathic communication, a willingness to share and learn from others are key ingredients to start with.

I have no doubt that this would have a positive result on overall productivity.  So, changing the work place culture into an empathic one, could ultimately improve work place relationships, minimise or eliminate all those awkward misunderstandings and have a positive effect on company profits. 


Listener three

This listener has a problem with getting hugged. She emphasises that she is a very friendly person and that she loves people, but just don't want to be hugged.

To hug or not to hug...

Hugging is a very personal thing for most people, in spite of the increase in people hugging each other, after swine flu threats that resulted in a decrease in shaking hands.  

Once again, whatever your preference, you should feel free to communicate that, but do so on the dance floor (respect and empathy) and not invite people to the boxing ring.

Let's get into the habit of getting into each others' shoes more often.  Let's give to others what we would like to receive.  Let's be sensitive, respectful and consider empathy, when we communicate about challenging issues.


If you want to change your work place culture into a respectful and empathic dance floor, you can contact me.  I come in, speak to your employees to find out what their challenges are and work out a plan, tailored to your work place environment.  More importantly though, I assist with implementing these changes.


What are your empathy and relationship challenges?
Let us know by sending a text message to the RSG studio, to 33343.  Text messages are charged at R1, 50 each.  Who knows, I might be focusing on your challenge next time.  You can send your text message on week days, between 09h00 & 12h00.  You can stay anonymous.


For any enquiries, contact me: Andeline Williams-Pretorius

CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training

Nominated in the ROCCI - Business of the year awards, 2012.

Andeline is Life Coach & Columnist for Kuier Magazine.

Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on Afrikaans Radio station: RSG.

PR Consultant & Author

"Andeline was recognised by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women."

Their glossy page coffee table book, featuring Andeline and 29 others (inluding industry leaders), coming soon.

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Http://www.andeline.co.za

http://za.linkedin.com/in/andelinewilliamspretorius

https://twitter.com/andelinewp

 

If you would like to order a copy of my book on Empathy and how this wonderful virtue, could transform various kinds of relationships, contact me.  It is a wonderful and priceless tool.  Cost: R159, 00 + postage.

Unfortunately it is currently only available in Afrikaans, but I hope that I'll have it translated to English in the near future.

 

 

Sensitiewe kwessies in die werksplek / Sensitive issues in the work place

Na aanleiding van 'n luisteraar se navraag verlede week, fokus ons more weer op Empatie In Die Werksplek.

Die probleem
Hierdie luisteraar wou weet hoe sy dit kan hanteer wanneer 'n kollega in haar persoonlike ruimte inbeweeg.  Dit wil voorkom asof hier 'n kultuur verskil is wat sulke aangeleenthede dinkwels moeilik maak om te hanteer.  In Plaas daarvan om eerlik te kommunikeer, verkies mense dikwels om die ander party te vermy, omdat hulle dink dat om die situasie aan te spreek moontlik tot 'n groter probleem kan lei.

Die bestuur het ook 'n rol hier te speel.  Dit is belangrik dat die bestuur betrokke raak en 'n poging aanwend om 'n werksomgewing te skep waar werknemers vry voel om te kommunikeer oor kwessies wat hul verhoudings en produktiwiteit kan affekteer.


More kyk ons hierna: 
Die rol van agtergrond, lewenservaring, kultuur en ander diversiteitselemente.

Hoe kommunikeer ons ook oor daardie sensitiewe kwessies, met die nodige respek en empatie, sonder om op mekaar se tone te trap?


Hoofstuk 7 - Verhoudings in die Werksplek.


Elke Dinsdag klim ons In Mekaar Se Skoene op RSG, iewers tussen 09h00 & 10h00, tussen 100 & 104 fm.

Every Tuesday we get into the shoes of others on Afrikaans radio station: RSG, somewhere between 09h00 & 10h00, between 100 & 104 fm.

Elke week fokus ons op 'n ander kwessie en kyk na maniere waarop dit beter hanteer of opgelos kan word, deur empatie in gedagte te hou.


Het jy al my boek aangeskaf?
Daar is soveel belangrike punte in my boek en in hierdie hoofstuk Verhoudings in die werksplek. 
Indien jy my boek wil aanskaf, laat weet gerus.  Dit kos slegs R159, 00 + R20, 00 posgeld, en is 'n goeie instrument wanneer dit by oploggings rondom jou verhoudingskwessies kom.

Wat is jou empatie of verhoudingskwessie?

Het jy 'n verhoudingskwessie wat pla en wonder jy hoe jy met empatie daarna kan kyk, laat weet gerus.  
Stuur 'n epos aan Martelize by RSG: brink@rsg.co.za

Jy kan ook 'n sms aan die ateljee stuur by 33343 en kan anoniem bly.

Wie weet, ons fokus dalk volgende keer op jou spesifieke kwessie.  

Sms koste: R1, 50 per sms.


Ek is 'n Inspirerende Spreker, Skrywer, Program opleier, Konsultant, Eggenote en Ma.

Ek is beskikbaar om as spreker by jou funksie op te tree.

Indien jy 'n kwessie met empatie in jou verhouding(s) ondervind, kontak Andeline om te hoor hoe sy kan help om jou situasie meer draagliker te maak.

Andeline's Motivational Training is onlangs genomineer in die ROCCI - Besigheid van die jaar, 2012 kategorie.  

Andeline verskyn ook binnekort (saam met 29 ander) in die koffie-tafel boek van African Innovations as een van Suid Afrika se inspirerendste vroue.  Die titel van die boek is: South Africa's Most Inspirational Women.



Kontak Andeline
Http://www.andeline.co.za
info@andeline.co.za
Selfoon: 072 856 0218


Sien vorige inskrywings op my blog vir inligting oor my jaarlikse funksie: The Wellness & Networking Event For Women wat op 16 October 2012 plaasvind.

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Due to a listener's question via text message, we'll be visiting the workplace again tomorrow morning.

The problem:

This listener wanted to know how they could deal with a colleague who regularly crosses the boundry of her personal space.  I got the impression that there is a cultural difference as well, that seems to contribute to the inability to communicate openly and honestly.

People often refuse to communicate over such sensitive issues, because they fear that the situation might be worsened.  This may lead to you avoiding the other party altogether.

What is the role of management in such a situation?  Management need to be involved with creating a workplace environment where people are free to talk about such sensitive issues with respect and empathy.  Neglecting this, may lead to employees feeling unhappy and this may have a negative effect on their overall productivity.

Tomorrow morning I'll focus on the following

The role of background, culture, life experiences and other elements of diversity.

I'll also look at how to communicate over such sensitive issues with respect and empathy.

Every week we focus on a different issue or relationship challenge and look at how it can be resolved with empathy.

What is your empathy- or relationship challenge?

Do you have a relationship challenge and are wondering how you could resolve it with empathy?  If yes, then send and email to Martelize brink@rsg.co.za  or send a text message to the RSG studio, to 33343.  

We may be focusing on your challenge next time.  You can stay anonymous.

Text messages are charged at R1, 50 per message.

Andeline Williams-Pretorius is an Inspirational Speaker / Trainer / Author / Consultant / Wife & Mother.

She is available to speak at your next event / conference.

If you have challenges around empathy in the work place or in any of your relationships, contact her to find out how she could be of assistance.

Andeline's Motivational Training was recently nominated in the prestigious Rocci - Business Of The Year Awards, 2012.

Andeline was also identified by African Innovations as one of South Africa's Most Inspirational Women.  Their glossy-page coffee-table book, featuring 30 women, including Andeline, will be available soon.

Contact Andeline
Http://www.andeline.co.za
info@andeline.co.za
Mobile: 072 856 0218


See previous blog posts for information on my upcoming event: The Wellness & Networking Event For Women, to be hosted on 16 October 2012.