Monday 4 March 2013

The Empathy Lesson In The Oscar / Reeva-tragedy



The Oscar / Reeva tragedy has shocked us all, black and white. And now, weeks later, perhaps it is time do reflect, time to find possible lessons, locked up in this tragedy.

When I first heard the news, I was shocked, because: “how could this happen and what went wrong?” And what could we learn from this tragedy? 


Various comments
People have different opinions about this tragedy. Some are crucifying Oscar, while other's believe that it was an accident. Where do you stand and is your position motivated by race? Some people say that they do not understand how this tragedy has suddenly become about different races, especially since Oscar and Reeva belong to the same racial group.

Well, I know how this became a racial matter. It is because many things (issues) in our country, is about race, even when not necessarily so, because we often find a way to turn it into a racial matter.

I am proud of South Africans when I hear or read comments like: “We should not judge...” or “I have no right to judge.”

The only problem with such comments, is that in most cases, the absence of our judgment, is reserved to those times when the person, who appears to be on the other side of the law, belongs to our own racial group. And we gladly judge when this person does not belong to our racial group.

I see some black people do this, I see some white people do this, I see some Coloured people do this, etc.


Life is not fair...
People who have money, normally receive better services than those who have less money. This is one of those times when it seems as if race does not necessarily matter. We often hear of high profile individuals or those with “the right” connections, who went to jail and received “preferential treatment.”

We see people object against this “preferential treatment”. And once again, those who object, object when the one receiving such “preferential treatment”, belongs to a different racial group.

Why do we seem to turn a blind eye when the person receiving “preferential treatment”, belongs to our own racial group?

I'm certainly not writing here to judge. My objective, is to make us look in the mirror, to make us realise that we still have a lot to learn, when it comes to empathy, to getting into the shoes of others – to try and see things from their perspective.

When we object, we should do so irrespective of who the person is on the other side. If we could get this right, then there would be plenty of hope for South Africa, for improving and taking race relationships to the wonderful level where it could be.

When we are against something, let's be against it all of the time.
When we object against something, let's do so even when we have to object against our own, BECAUSE, people are always watching.



Do you have an Empathy & Relationship challenge and don't know how to deal with it?
Send us a text message (33343) or email (brink@rsg.co.za) and we might focus on your challenge next time.

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Thank you.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius
Regular Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG
Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine
info@andeline.co.za


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