Some of my pet peeves when it come to business relationships

Empathy and Respect in business, are priceless.

I love helping people when I can. The number one thing about this, that one should master, is to not expect anything in return, not even a “thank you.” This will ensure that you are not disappointed. I think that I've mastered this.

However, what I do not understand, is that some people get out there and proclaim that they've known it all along and had no guidance whatsoever. Why then ask questions on various occasions, when you knew everything all along?

I guess that nobody could get pass their conscience – hopefully.

We could all learn from one another and it is an honourable thing to give credit when it is due.

Because of various negative experiences, have made the decision to be more selective when it comes to helping people. Recently, I have done my best to assist someone by utilising my resources as PR Consultant, not expecting anything in return. Photographs were taken, but before images were uploaded on Facebook, I was neatly cropped out (cut out) of the images. I was the only person of colour in those images.  This made me wonder whether I was considered as "not good enough" to be in the images that were posted on Facebook - Ironic, especially when I was the only one who provided support.  Strange... 

I was shocked and asked this individual why I was cropped out of the images. They were immediately on the defence, saying that they are not a racist – as if I said that they were. I referred them back to my email where I asked a simple “why?”, without any accusations. Their response certainly caught me by surprise. Everything that I was still willing to do, vanished...just like that.

Yes, we still have a lot of issues around race relationships in South Africa. This is why, when I can assist people, I always look for different races, making sure that I assist a white individual, a black individual, a coloured individual, etc.

To “like” or not to “like”

If you want me to “like” your Facebook page, you have to like mine – unless you are someone whom I admire and I chose to “like” your page, because I was inspired to do so. This also means that I will “unlike” a few pages that I currently “like” and “like” a few that I do not “like” already.

Do not ask me to “like” the page of your friend whom I do not know.

My PR Services

Do not ask me for the contact details of journalists, producers, etc., unless we have some business support agreement. If we do not have such an agreement and are not going to establish such an agreement (which is mutually beneficial), you should make use of my services as PR Consultant.

Speaking for exposure

Many speakers are asked to speak at a function (for free) and in return they are promised exposure. Like many speakers, I too have done this, but I got to that stage where I am no longer desperate for someone else to give me exposure, because I know how to get exposure for myself. 

My time is just as valuable as yours and not many people are aware of the amount of time that goes into preparing one's speech. And as a speaker, you have to look great when standing in front of an audience, and that costs money.  As speakers we look at our schedules and decide (perhaps a year in advance) how many times in the following year we can afford to speak for free or at a reduced rate.  Allow me the privilege to make this decision and do not simply expect me to do so. It is disrespectful.  

Since we all want to grow our businesses, you have to consider options that will be valuable to the other party, in return for speaking at that reduced rate.  "Exposure at your function", is not good enough for me.

And most people already have specific charities that they support; I have founded one.

Promises, promises, promises

Do not make promises that you cannot keep or do not intend keeping. And just because nobody comes to you to ask you about what you have promised them, doesn't mean that they do not wonder about it.

Everybody could quote religious phrases on their Facebook page. That however, is no guarantee that they necessarily live a very religious life or that treating others in the way that they would like to be treated, is a priority to them.  Let's face it, some people do abuse religion when they think that it is convenient to do so or when they want to cover up their real motive, which is about grabbing and taking what they can.  When they are done, they chuck you aside.  

And of course, not all of these people pretend to be hugely religious - some pretend to be interested in doing respectful business, when, to them, it is only about "what's in it for me?"

About Feedback

When you give feedback, be honest or do not give feedback at all. You cannot deny it later, because you feel that the feedback given, would perhaps make you look like "less of an expert."  And worse: your integrity will be questioned.

About Endorsements and Recommendations

It is one thing to endorse someone's skill(s) and quite another to write a recommendation. I believe that in order to write a recommendation for someone, one would have to have experienced their great service in some way or another.

Over a period of about two months, I've received three requests to write a recommendation on LinkedIn.  At first I thought to simply ignore the request, because I do not know the person well enough to write a recommendation. I received the third request last week and decided to respond, saying that I only recommend those who's services I have experienced in some way and that I thought that it would be unethical of me to write one, when this was not the case.

Of course, we cannot work with- or support EVERYBODY. Let's identify those individuals who would make the best match for your business, but more importantly, let's focus on building business relationships that are mutually beneficial; relationships that are built on respect and trust. 

Do not use people, thinking that they are stupid and won't even notice.  Believe me, they always do – And they will talk about it behind your back.


IN CONCLUSION:
Every individual has the right and responsibility to step up, speak up, be assertive and not allow themselves to be used.  Exercise your right and responsibility.  It will save you from getting unnecessary business headaches.

Best wishes on your business journey.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author

Life Coach and Columnist to Kuier magazine

Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG

info@andeline.co.za