Are You Suffering From Wolf At The Back Door Syndrome?

Recognizing unsung heroes - The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

The Empathy Angels Project has started out as something small, something to give recognition to individuals who are making a positive difference in their community, in society and to our world at large.  

However, over the last year it has proven itself as one of those initiatives that South Africa and the world need; not only because of the recognition that selected individuals receive, but also because of how this recognition contributes to their projects and to the beneficiaries of their project.

This is just one of the ways in which The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849 (with the wonderful publicity by SABC Radio: RSG) contributes to keeping Mr. Nelson Mandela's (Madiba) legacy alive.

See below for more information and for images of some of the Empathy Angels previously featured on SABC Radio: RSG.  "RSG, Dis Die Een."

Thank you for liking the Facebook page of the Empathy Foundation

https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa?fref=ts

When falsely accused, make a public statement - Open Letter to Professional Speaker: Douglas Kruger

Today, I am spring cleaning my heart and mind. I had many venting sessions about your verbal attack on me, about your false accusations that I have plagiarized your work. However, because (even when I am angry), I am still driven by Empathy and as a result, I have never mentioned your name. This is so strange, especially since you had no problem attacking me on your public Facebook wall (in front of the world), accusing me of plagiarism and questioning my sense of humour and my ability to enjoy being sexual. Well, Douglas, the words: "EXPERT POSITIONING" do not belong to you. I am against plagiarism, have always been and I am also speaking up against it, because I know what it feels like when people steal your work, without giving the due acknowledgement. And for someone to actually plagiarize your work, they would have to have access to it, don't you think?

Three of your colleagues have attended my public seminar on Expert Positioning. I am known for my comprehensive notes that I generously share with my clients. Contact me for their names - perhaps they could show you my notes. In my letter to you in which I request that you give me proof for your false accusation, you failed to respond and you failed to give me proof.

Apparently, you eventually deleted all those comments. It is just a pity that they were not deleted from the minds of those who had witnessed, who believed - just because you said it. It is a pity that deleting them from your wall did not delete it from the minds of those who are talking, whispering. It is a pity that it was not deleted from my heart, mind and computer.

WISDOM BY JT FOXX
I was about to spend money on taking legal action until I read the blog of JT Foxx in which he says that when there are false accusations about you, you should make a public statement. This is my public statement.

As usual, I was ready to let go of this matter, to allow it to disappear into thin air, until I heard the whispers. We live in the age of Google and Gossip and people often make decisions based on what they hear - whether it is true or not. And so today I stand up for myself, my business, for my journey of hard work in which I didn't cut corners and for everybody who remains voiceless.

LOOKING INWARD
Throughout your verbal attack on me, in which your wife and a few of your Facebook friends joined you, I thought to myself that I had no idea that my reference to your regular inappropriate and sexually suggestive comments on your public wall, could set off such a war. I got the impression that nobody messes with Douglas Kruger and those who dare are setting themselves up for trouble. All you had to do was to look inward and evaluate my comment.

I have seen these comments on your wall, from the cheap sexual mockery that you made about the name of a religious publishing house, to the last comment about your wife watching the wife of some Hollywood actor... I will not even repeat that comment here, because it is just in absolute bad taste and it is unprofessional for someone of your stature to say such things and the many other things that you wrote on your wall, while you are telling me and others about professional conduct. And that was my point. With all these comments that I have witnessed over a few months, I was surprised that nobody in your inner circle told you that you should stop, that it was inappropriate. I remember all the "likes" that you received. No wonder you thought that your comments were witty and humorous. Well, maybe when you are a comedian, but certainly not when you are a professional speaker and get onto a podium to tell others how to conduct themselves.

I will save the details about all these comments that I noted as inappropriate for court. I'm sure that you'll attempt to sue me for speaking up and speaking the truth - yet, it was quite okay for you to defame me and to verbally attack me.
As your wife reminded me in one of her attacking comments on Facebook about the fact that she has a law degree... I do not understand how anyone would want to sue someone only because they do not agree with them.  Unlike you, your wife and some of your friends, I have stated the facts and didn't resort to insults.

And the "friendly warning" via email by your colleague that you could sue me... Not sure whether he thought that he was dealing with some stupid person.
I could not believe his comment, more so, because NO email from him in which he warns you about the fact that I could take legal action against you had arrived in my inbox. I wonder why... I wonder how this person would have responded if it was his wife or daughter who had been attacked and defamed in this way, an attack that he had witnessed. Would he say to them to not talk about it, would he warn them about legal action when they were the victim of something like this?

I wondered even more about whether he thought that he was dealing with some stupid person when I received his newsletter. I do not have time to pull it apart point by point. In the email he also said that he doesn't want to be involved and I respected that. When I received the newsletter and read it, I got the impression that he went back on his decision about not wanting to be involved, because to me it seemed as if he was protecting you.

He refers to some comedian using profanities and how that didn't take away from the quality of his craft, etc. My response: Yes, that person is a comedian and that is what most comedians do – they use profanities, etc. etc. I do not recall any of them telling me how to conduct myself in a professional manner though. He also refers to John Maxwell speaking and during his talk asking his audience to excuse him, because he just wants to write something down that he doesn't want to forget later. He mentions that that doesn't make him see John Maxwell as unprofessional, etc. Damn right it doesn't I would tell John Maxwell that he could take 5 minutes (if he asks for a minute) to write down something, before he continues with his speech. John Maxwell didn't use profanities, so there is a difference – a BIG difference.

After you tried to justify your inappropriate comments with your reference to what Gordon Ramsey, Jeremy Clarkson, etc. does, I sat in front of my computer in shock, wondering: “Who is this person?” Yes, Gordon swears when he cooks and Jeremy is not exactly an angel, but the difference between you and them, is that you tell me and others how to conduct ourselves, and they don’t. That’s the difference.

THE CONVERSATION BECAME UGLY
I left the conversation in the afternoon, because it became too much for me, I am not used to mud- slinging. But you couldn't resist coming back later that evening, accusing me of plagiarism. That sounds like harassment.

You said that I was unprofessional, because I wear a bikini - your reference, and I quote: "skimpy bikini." Why am I not surprised?  We live in a society that is often quick to turn a woman (who stands up for herself) into something to be objectified.  This comment of yours made me feel like I wanted to go and scrub myself. Different rules for men and women - our wonderful society.  How nice?  I believe that you appear shirtless on your Facebook wall these days.
Douglas Kruger, I will wear a bikini for as long as I look good in a bikini. I can promise you though that I will NEVER go to work in a bikini, because since I am not a bikini model, that would really be unprofessional and I will have a few names attached to mine.

However, you took your pornographic jokes to work. Remember the talk that you gave at one function at which I was an audience member. You can do that, and still enjoy wonderful support and still you are seen and treated as a professional. Yes, "some people are more equal than others."

Your wife also insisted that you are a decent man and as I said, I believe her, because I do not know you. However, what I do know is that sometimes respect for others are reserved to a particular race, to a particular culture, to fellow group members, etc. And as a mother of a young boy, I know that if my son ever talks to a woman in the manner in which you have talked to me (whether it is someone from a different race, whether it is the prostitute on the street corner, whether it is the domestic worker, whether it is the woman who begs at the robot with her child on her arm) while he calls himself decent, he’ll have to answer to me, because I won’t be happy.

By all means, be as sexual as you want to be, but surely as a professional, those comments do not belong on a public Facebook wall. But then again, you basically announced to the world in one of your follow-up wall posts, that you will do as you please and I quote:

“Friends, I have just been PC smacked. I am not responsible for the image that you have of me. I will not tone down my wit and humor...”

And as I wrote in my letter to you in which two of your colleagues were copied, you are wrong, because you HAVE sold me the professional image that I HAD of you, through your book.

Writing that letter and the email to you after your colleague suggested that we meet to talk about this whole matter, was my way of reaching out to you. You failed to respond, you failed to make an attempt to apologize and in doing that, you have cemented the unpleasant, arrogant and egotistical impression that I now have of you.

A big thank you, from everyone at The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

Dear Friends,

It is with a tremendous amount of gratitude that I look back to reflect on this year, the good times, the challenges, the successes, but more importantly: YOU, because of your support, we are growing from strength to strength. 

Our Entrepreneurship objective

This is also the year in which The Empathy Angels Project was officially adopted and launched to contribute to our objective where we focus on entrepreneurship.  However, the Empathy Angels was born a number of years ago.  I have knocked on many doors to have it implemented, but they all remain shut.  People told me that it could never work.  

Well, today I want to say to you to never listen to anybody who tells you this when your core tells you that your dream is indeed POSSIBLE!

I didn’t take the pessimism to heart, but went back to the drawing board. 

I asked myself:  Well, how COULD this work? 

I got an idea to write my book about Empathy.  I thought that it might be very helpful to get a national publishing house to publish my book.  I started to plan my book and sent a proposal to a national publishing house.  I was blessed to get that YES in an instant, because as I teach in my program on Expert Positioning, it normally takes up to three months before a publisher comes back to you regarding your manuscript AND they normally want at least three chapters.

I completed my manuscript within two months and my book In Mekaar Se Skoene was officially published five months later.  I secured a weekly Empathy slot on SABC Radio: RSG and on 25 January 2014, I’ll be doing that for two years.

After being on air for a year, I was extremely grateful.  And like my habit is when I am grateful, I looked for an opportunity to share.  How could I share my wonderful platform with others? I wondered...  

A-ha!  The Empathy Angels Project on RSG came to mind.  Okay, but now I have to convince RSG to say yes to me about sharing my platform with others.  I contacted the producer.  She responded with a Yes.  She said that she liked the idea very much.  The Empathy Angels on RSG was born.

Over the last year, we have featured many wonderful people, doing great work to uplift people in various communities.  This is just one of my many passions that make me come alive. 

Thank you

I owe a big thank you the “Oggend Op RSG”-team, but also to RSG management for their wonderful contribution to assist me and The Empathy Foundation to contribute to keeping Madiba’s legacy alive.  A big thank-you to our friends and followers too, because without your participation in sending us your Empathy Angel suggestion we would not be able to do what we do.  

Please keep those suggestions coming.

Make a donation and help us continue our great work

The Empathy Foundation is an NPO and as you know, we depend on donations to keep things afloat.  Hence we are sending out a request to organisations to donate to this great cause.  We have a great track record, are able to supply you with relevant documents and we do what we say we do. 

See this link to our Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/empathycampaignsa?fref=ts

Should you be interested in donating to this great case, here are our banking details

ACCOUNT NAME:  The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849.

BANK:      Absa Bank

BRANCH:     Clearwater Mall

ACCOUNT NUMBER:  9284575199

BRANCH CODE:   632005

SARS PBO NUMBER:  930041748

Our Logo

The Empathy Angels project

Those who know me know that I am always focused on giving value and to add something extra.  This is the reason we have decided to first launch The Empathy Angels project and to provide the best publicity to all the Empathy Angels whom we feature.  We all know how much it costs to make use of the services of a PR Consultant.  They certainly do not come cheap.

Our Empathy Angels have given us great feedback about how much being featured as an Empathy Angel has meant to them and their projects, not to mention the enquiries they have received from businesses that wanted to know how they could support or contribute to their individual causes.  So, I think that you will agree with me that our Empathy Angels are getting quite a fantastic deal.  

Please note however, that we DO NOT guarantee that you will be contacted with offers of support.

Here at The Empathy Foundation, we have gone back to the drawing board to ensure that apart from continuing our great work, to also ensure that The Empathy Foundation becomes sustainable.  For this reason, we have decided to, as from next year, charge the Empathy Angels who are being featured a small administration fee of R250, 00.  This will cover the telephone calls to you as Empathy Angel, email correspondence, compiling your story and forwarding it to the RSG producer, via email.  See below for an outline, options and benefits to you.

As the Founder of the organisation, I am very excited and happy when I design your collage, when I choose which images to add. It is important to me to ensure that you, our Empathy Angels, are portrayed in the best possible light, in a way that makes you feel satisfied about your association with The Empathy Foundation and The Empathy Angels project.  

It takes time to create your beautiful collage and I believe that you’ll understand the importance of having to charge a small admin fee to create this.

Your contribution goes directly to the Empathy Foundation. Thank you for understanding.

Please note that your interview as Empathy Angel on SABC Radio: RSG remains free.  You are also not paying for the collage, only for my time

Here are the payment options and benefits:

AMOUNT	BENEFITS
R250, 00 (for my time)	A beautiful (and free) collage with images about your project; shared on the Facebook page of The Empathy Foundation.
R500, 00	A beautiful (and free) collage with images about your project; shared on the Facebook page of The Empathy Foundation, on my Facebook wall and on the wall of two other Facebook groups to which I belong, on Linked in and on Twitter.  PLUS... You qualify to ask me about one module in my program, entitled: EXPERT POSITIONING – how to grow your personal brand or business by getting great publicity. You could ask me anything about the following – one area only    Writing and publishing your book;     Have a reputable publication tell your inspirational life – or business story;     Be a regular guest on radio or television;     Register your passion as an NPO;     Becoming a columnist; Your ASK Andeline-session will take place in a pre-arranged 30 minute session via SKYPE.  T’s & C’s apply.

Like our Facebook page: The Empathy Foundation and stay informed about what’s happening on our side.  

The next chapter

We are currently planning to host the first Empathy Angels Awards Ceremony at the end of July 2014.  I am very happy to report that we have already secured a Media Partner.  This should tell you that this organisation really means business and is indeed serious about contributing to the greater good.  We live in a society where it is “every man for him /herself”.  Not in our world, because we realise how we could get so much further when we join hands. With this initiative, we want to give recognition to those people who take time out to be kind, caring and considerate; those individuals who are doing something to brighten someone else’s day, because we believe that it is cool to be kind.

We will share more information about our Media partner(s) and about what we are planning, early next year.

Do you want to be a Sponsor to The Empathy Angels Awards Ceremony?

If your organisation would like to come on board as Sponsor to this prestigious event and would like to receive more information about the project and about the benefits to you as sponsor, do contact me (Andeline).

Mobile: 072 856 0218

Email: info@andeline.co.za

All other enquiries are welcome too.

Thank you for your time and for travelling this journey with us.  The dreams continue and I promise to keep you posted.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Founder of The Empathy Foundation, NPO 070-849

Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Author

Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine

Empathy & Relationship Expert on SABC Radio: RSG

See below for some of our previous Empathy Angels, featured on SABC Radio: RSG.  Their great work continues. 

Hoe hanteer jy dit wanneer mense jou vir gratis advies vra?

Vriendelike Empatie Groete,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius

Inspirerende Spreker & Programopleier

Gereelde Empatie en Verhoudingskenner op RSG

Lewensafrigter en Rubriekskrywer vir Kuier tydskrif

Skrywer van Sukses, jou keuse.  Hierdie boek is in 2006 goedgekeur vir die skool kurrikulum vir Lewensoriëntering 

In mekaar Se Skoene, is in Desember 2011 deur Naledi gepubliseer.

Selfoon: 072 856 0218

"How do you handle people asking you for free advice?"

Thank you.

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius
CEO, Andeline's Motivational Training
Inspirational Speaker, Trainer, Wife & Mother
Regular Empathy & Relationships Expert on RSG
Life Coach / Columnist to Kuier magazine
PR Consultant
Author of self-published: Success; it's your choice; and 
In mekaar Se Skoene, published by Naledi.
Mobile: 072 856 0218

Time to show a little Empathy to teachers

Yours in Empathy,

Andeline Williams-Pretorius
Inspirational Speaker / Trainer / Author
Empathy & Relationship Expert on RSG
Life Coach & Columnist to Kuier magazine
info@andeline.co.za
Mobile: 072 856 0218